Love What You Can't Have

Forgiveness

"I can't believe you got your belly button pierced. What the hell were you thinking." My mom said setting food on the table. "I was 18 and wanted one." I answered her setting plates on the table. "Phoenix, I understand that you are set in your ways, and that you are 18 but this is a little crazy." "Mom, it is fine just be happy I didn't piece my tongue." I smiled at her. She put her hands on my cheeks. "You are to much pretty girl." she kissed my nose. I laughed. "Come on lets eat. I have missed you so much." she took her seat and starting filling her plate. "Are you nervous about school?' "A little. My schedule is good though. I can't really complain about that, and they will let me get out at 1 so I can head to the studio." "Just don't over do it." "I won't mom. I told dad the same thing." "Look we just know that when you are passionate about something you go above and beyond, sometimes it is a little to much." "All I ever wanted to do was dance, and you and dad always gave up things so I can have that." "Which reminds me." she set her silverware down, and headed to her bedroom. 

"This is for you." She set a large box on the counter. I got up and headed over to it. " What is this?" "Open it." she smiled. I lifted the lid on the box, and moved the tissue paper bringing it out of the box. It was a stunning white cocktail dress. It was one strap, ,off the shoulder, with small gems to accent it. "This is beautiful. What is this for?' "Well I wanted to tell you that there is a special gathering after everyone's performs. Its cocktails, dinner and some light dancing. All the crew is invited Black tie event and we wait for the critics to anounce how the show was. All the top society people who can pay for the plate can attend." she smiled. "Is this you have been working so much?" "Yes, kiddo." She headed back into her room, coming out shortly. "I picked this black little number up myself. "Mom you are going to look great in this. "OH honey, I don't care how many hours, I have to work to help you achieve your goals. I am just so proud of you." I hugged her tight. "Let's put these away, and finish dinner. I want to hear more about your trip." she took the dresses away. 

  For the next week I would wake up and head straight to the studio. I would practice so much I would come home with bruises. I was walking home and decided that to back through the cemetery, I was so tired and sore. I stopped at one of the headstones. And grabbed a cigarette. I was checking my arm when I heard someone and swung. "Jesus!!" I said turning and hitting someone. When I looked of course it was Aries. "Nice swing." he said. I grabbed my things and started to walk away, ya like he was going to let that happen. He grabbed my arm. "Phoenix." he said. "What!!" He looked like hell, I never someone so handsome could look like hell, but he did. "I don't want to fight with you." he said. "Then let me go, and leave me alone." "Look I didn't mean to just....." I put my free hand up . "Just stop. I dont want your excuses. I don't want you, I don't want anything that deals with you." I told him. His face dropped. He dropped his grip on me. I started to walk away when he said.

"You used me too." I stopped instantly and looked at him. "I used you?" "Ya, I sleep with you and then you leave for Paris and fuck your old boyfriend." "I can't believe you. And I didn't fuck him. He kissed me" "I got what I wanted and  you was told I don't relationships." "Oh I realized that the minute I seen Sonya all over you and of course the huge fact that you ran out so quickly. You did exactly what I dreaded the most." He was quiet. "So what do you want from me Aries?" He started walking towards me. I stood my ground. "I want you to accept my gift for one thing." he said still coming closer. "I am not your princess." I told him crossing my arms. "You can think that if you want." he shrugged, "But the minute I entered you, you was mine." He was right ontop of me. So close that I felt his breath on me. "If I kissed you right now, I would be inside you again." he challenged. "Let's find out." I challenged him, pulling him to my lips by his neck. He kissed me back, hard and so good. My sore legs shaking but I didn't care.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. His lips devoured mine. His hands roamed my body. I totally lost this battle, not I won't lose this battle.  I started to moan once I started feeling is growth against me, my shorts being in the way. I pulled my lips away from him. I can't be doing this right now. He hurt me, but other parts of my body was not making me win. I wiggled trying to get down. He released my legs putting me back on the ground. I pushed him away. I was trying to caught my breath. "You fucking hurt me." I told him. "I won't do it again." he said taking my face and landing on my lips again. I pushed him back again. "Phoenix, I will not hurt you again." he came closer. "Then date me." I told him. He took a step back. "If you want in my pants so bad, then date me." I grabbed my bag and walked away from him. 

I ran into my house and upstairs. Closing the door behind me I slid down the door. My hands going through my hair. What the hell am I doing. I grabbed my phone getting ready to call Kourtney and decided not to. My mind was spinning, I missed his lips so much. I missed him. I grabbed a shower, when I came out. I looked at my phone. 

                         "I hacked your phone to get by passed the block. I will pick you up on Saturday at 8pm, be ready." Your, Aries. I laughed with some tears running down my face. We are now dating I guess.

                                                                              -Aries-        

I headed into the house, after I texted Phoenix, that I would date her. I got her back, I don't want to let her down. I headed into the kitchen where I found Laurie. "Laurie did you put that blue box back in my room. "No, sorry." she said. "Where is it." "Your brother has it." she said. "He is in the office." she pointed. I rushed there and opened the door.  He looked up from the paperwork. "Aries. Please barg in." He set the papers down. "Where is it?" 'Where is what?' "You know what." I told him. He got up and walked over to a cabinet pulling out the box, swinging it. "You mean this?" he said. I went to grab it and he pulled it away from me. "What the hell are you doing Aries." he asked. "Don't worry about what I am doing. Just give me the box and worry about your life." I told him. "That girl is going to get you in trouble." "No she isn't." "Stop the rebellious act, it is getting old." he said slamming the box on the table. "You want to fuck her till the ends of the earth fine I don't care, but It is time to grow up and take responsibility. The company is a big, and will have us continue our legacy." "I am aware of the responsibilities of the company, I have no problem working for the company and pushing myself. I can also have a girlfriend while doing it." "Not one who will destroy you." "You know nothing about her." He walked over to the filing cabinet unlocking it. He pulled out a file on her and set it on the table. "I know exactly who she is." "Give me the fucking box and mind your business. I can do this, and I will do this."

"Are you in love with her?" My body froze. "No." I finally answered. "Then why this?" "It was just a gift, we are talking again and I want to give her the gift." "Don't fuck this up, get off or whatever you need to do, but do not fall in love with her." he slid the box over to me.  I took it and left.