Love What You Can't Have

Empty

I woke up not realizing I even fell asleep. I looked at the clock. It was 9a.m. I quickly grabbed my phone to check any messages. I seen the message from Rose. She is awake. I quickly stood. She didn't want to see me. I smiled. She was awake. She opened her beautiful eyes. I sat back down. Of course she didn't want to see me, why would she. She lost a lot, she is still angry, sad, upset. I just wanted to hold her, let her cry on me. I wanted to sooth her. I want to respect what Rose said, but I have to go to the hospital, to just try. I grabbed at quick shower and then headed downstairs. 

I came into the kitchen. "Missing school again?" Arti said reading the paper. "She is awake. I need to see her, or at least let her know I was there." I said grabbing a bottle of water. "Aries son, that is not the best decision right now. I just talked to Rose. Phoenix is pushing everyone away, throwing flowers, she is really having a hard time with the lose of the baby. She sent Kourtney away this morning." "Kourtney? But she never did anything to her?" "She just needs time. As I know you do, but you have to get back to school." "I can't deal with school right now." I sat down. "My mind is not ready to be normal again. I mean I can't pretend that everything that happen didn't happen." "I get that, but you have to work past this." "I bet everyone is talking about it." "And what would they say?" "I am sure Sonya, ran her mouth. I seen on Facebook." 

"What did she say?" "I don't really know really know, I am sure I will get updated sooner or later." Laurie came in. "Aries, Drake is here." He came in. Aries stood. He took his best friend and hugged him tight. "How you holding up man?" "Good, why aren't you in school?" Drake was in his school uniform. "I was excused. Got into a fight." He showed his knuckles. "With who?' "Just a couple of guys. They were running there mouths so I shut it. My parents aren't even pissed, gave the Dean a piece of there mind. It looked like he was going to cry." "What was being said?' Arti said. "Just how Aries finally got what he deserved. That if they had someone like Phoenix they wouldn't of played games with her except in the bedroom." Aries fists clenched and turned white. "I handled it bro, just chill." "This is getting out of control." "Its Sonya, she is telling everyone she will be the next Mrs. Diamandis, either with Aries or Dimitri. Either way she would win." Drake took a seat. "Jesus." Aries hid his face. 

"This was not suppose to happen." "Aries this could happen to anybody." "But it didn't it happen to us." "It happen with love in your hearts." "Mom, I was with her because I didn't want know one else to have her. I agreed to date her because of that reason. It wasn't love until..." I stopped that was a little personal. "Continue." she pushed. "Its to personal." "I want to hear it." I sighed and then answered my mother. "The moment I fell in love with her was when we had skin to skin contact, I truly felt her. It was nothing I have ever felt before in my life." I looked at her. She sat back in her chair, and slid her cup over so Laurie could fill it. "Well Aries that right there, is true love, it is very powerful." "How is that powerful?" Drake asked grabbing a muffin. Laurie placed a plate in front of him. "Sex is great and all, especially when every time you see the person all you want to do is rip their clothes off, but when you hit that very rare experience of truly feeling the person. Well that is something alot of people don't get to experience. You are really lucky Aries." "So what does it mean?" "That things will work out because you have found your soul mate. It is scary but you both are going to be okay eventually. Just give her time. You will find each other again. She will yell at you, say hurtful things but she is not in the right mind right now." Arti stood kissed her son on the cheek. "Let me know if I need to do anything at school for you and Drake. I would love to see Ms. Sonya and give her a piece of my mind." she said walking away.

"Now what?" Drake said. "I need to get out of here. I need to feel something." "Want to get some more ink?" "Let's go." Aries said. We walked into the tattoo shop. I sat there and got my arm tattooed, I had to feel some sort of pain. It was a tribal, a tap out session. I was there for hours and I just sat still. I looked at it while, the guy was changing out the ink. "Can you add one thing to this?' I asked. "Sure what did you want." "At the wrist do angel wings." "Sure man whatever you want." he said and continued. "Dude, how are you?" Drake asked. "Miserable." I answered. "I never thought I would be going through something like this. I mean she was fucking pregnant, either way it happened she was pregnant." "I didn't even know about Etopic pregnancy." "Ectopic." Aries corrected. "Whatever, I still didn't know that even existed." "My wife and I experienced Ectopic pregnancy. I was hard on us." The artist told us. "But you worked things out?' "Of course she is my wife. I gave her space, and time. I did whatever she needed. She still gets upset from time, but we went on and had 2 more awesome kids." "I am only 19, kids aren't really something we are looking for right now." "Well things happen for a reason bud." I just sat back. "Do you really love her man?" "You know I do." "You can say you do but not." "I love her more than I loved anybody. I can't breath without her. I don't care what happens to me, as long as she is breathing and has life to her, that is what matters." "We are so young though man." "Age doesn't matter when you love someone." I told him wincing from the pain. 

"What about college or school in general?' Drake asked. "None of it matters till I get her back." I told him checking my phone. Still nothing. "What if she doesn't come back to you?" I shrugged. "I have to make sure it does happen." I looked at him. Drake shock his head. "What is it about her, I mean come on you went from a different girl every night, and then the minute you seen her this obsession took over." "You don't feel this way about Allison?' "I guess you can say I love her but I am not sure I want what you want." "Well I guess my mom is right, noone will compare to her. She understands me, wants me for me, not my looks or my money, just me. She tells me all the time I can be whatever I want and she would still be by my side. That two weeks I stayed with her was great. We would talk, study, watch tv, it was just relaxing. It was just her and me and nothing else mattered. Waking up next to her was the best feeling in the world, better than the sex. It was...." I couldn't explain it, I shouldn't have to explain it. "We had nothing to prove to anyone, it was just me and her and that was good enough." I finished. I looked at the clock, it was after 3. The guy finally finished my tattoo. The whole left side of my arm was finished with the added angel wings are my wrist, to remember my angel baby. The dragon on my right side of my stomach and now my whole arm. I pulled out my credit card and paid for both our tattoos and tipped the guy. We headed outside and I lit up a cigarette once I got to my car. "Your parents are throw a fit man, but that shit is sick." Drake said. "I don't care, its my life." I told him. 

"Well, well if it isn't the man I adore." Sonya said coming up to us. "What the hell do you want." Drake said stepping in front of Aries. "Back off Drake, I am here to see why Aries hasn't been in school." "You need to go." Drake said. Aries didn't even look at her. "I miss you, since you are finally away from her, you and I should really hook up." He looked at her again. "Who said I was single." Sonya stepped back. "She is still with you?" she said angrily. "Of course she is." Drake said. "Then why is she in the mental hospital pinning over you." "Where the hell did that come from." Drake looked at Aries. "Everyone said she had to be put in the mental institue because she went off on Kourtney. There are other stories going around to. She was hurt at her stupid dance practice, oh and the best one. You knocked her up. Trying to trap you just like I knew she would, anything to keep you. Can't blame the girl for trying." Aries stepped closer to her. "I would suggest you get the fuck away from me, and don't ever run your mouth when it comes to Phoenix, you stupid bitch." She smacked Aries across the face. "How dare you call me that." she looked at him. "You did knock her up didn't you." she gasped. 

"Its none of your business what happens with me and Her." I told her. "I can't believe you are going to have a kid with that tramp." "Don't call her that. She is not pregnant, not anymore, anyway." I told her. "She had an abortion? OH wow, this is to good." "Look,....." but Drake took over. "Phoenix is in the hospital because she lost the baby, she lost alot of blood and almost died herself, so if you have any type of a soul, you would keep your ugly mouth shut and respect that, since you are the one who caused this whole mess." Sonya's face dropped. "They have lost everything, and if you was a true friend to any of us, you would shut your fucking mouth and keep it that way, show some respect." Drake said through his teeth. Sonya turned and walked away. "Why did you tell her?" "Truth needed to be said, I won't sit there having people talking bad about Phoenix. I don't care. I have nothing to hide, I am not ashamed that she was pregnant." Aries said getting in the car.