Finally Dead (Book 4)

Chapter 2: With Them

It was burning out here, as I was in fact for sure glad that it was that I had in fact grabbed those bottles of water before it was that I had in fact left my place, at that. I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, at that. But it was so hard, as I felt like I was in decent shape, but I at the very least did in fact need to take a break.
No... I did not need to take a break, as I knew that I needed to keep on going. It was one thing that the dead had on us normal people. That was of course, whilst it was that they might not be as fast as we were.
They seemed to never get tired, as it seemed like they could go on for ever. I was not even running right now, but I just felt so worn out. As I also knew that it could be due to the fact that I had not got the best of any sort of sleep, at that, none the less.
Of course, that being due to the fact that I felt like I was getting closer to Sasha once again. But with that, and the fact that she wanted to join me. I also felt like I was scared of losing her out here, just as it was that I had in fact lost every one else I had ever seemed to care about and to love, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just kind of seemed to think on that for a little bit more time. I began to start to realize that it was in fact true. Well at least for the most part, as I suppose that all of the deaths and losses had in fact been whilst it was that I had in fact been in these gates just about, all at the exact same time too.
I kind of shivered a little bit to my self, all at once. I began to start to think on just what it was that Christian had in fact said to me one time. That was of course, about the fact that what it would be like to live out here, out side of the community gates.
He had told me all about the fact as to just how it was that he would find a small little cabin out in the woods some where, at that. How he would grow his own plants at that, and he would scavenge on his own. I kind of felt like it was a little bit scary, but I also knew that life in here was also kind of scary to me as of lately, at that.
And I also knew that most of the people that it was that I had in fact known who it was had died. Had of course died whilst it was that they were in fact here, at that. I kind of felt like Christian might have been right on just what it was that he had said to me back then, at that.
I also knew how ever, that I had not got to see, and I had not got to hear from Christian in quite a while. It felt like every time I was here, he was never here, as I had to ask Shannon once or twice if he was okay. It had been a few months since it was that the last time it had been since I had seen him.
The place was so empty, as I knew that there was still nearly a thousand people living here. It just was not the same place that it was that it had in fact once been, at that. Maybe I just needed to clear my mind, and clear my thoughts, as I remembered that Shannon had told me things were going fine.
Well, I was not all too sure as to just what that was that it did in fact really even mean, at that. How ever, I also kind of felt like it was just best for me to just try to not think all too deep on to that right now, at that. I felt like it might just be best for me to keep on going with just what it was that I was in fact doing right now.
I felt like I was about to fall over right now of course, at that. As it brought me back to just why it was that I had in fact had my mind and my focus on all of those thoughts in the very first place any ways, at that. As that was of course the fact that I did in fact have a little bit of some fear of losing Sasha whilst it was that we were in fact out here, all at the exact same time too.
I kind of shivered at the thoughts of that, all at once. I knew that I could not live this life in fear how ever, as it was some thing that Christian had once again told me. He had said to me 'if you get too protective, that's when you are most likely to lose them... That's when it will hurt you more...'
It kind of hit me a bit deep when it was that he had in fact said that to me, as I did in fact realize that he was in fact right, and that he was in fact correct on just what it was that he had in fact even just said to me, all at the exact same time too, at that. I kind of just started to dip my head a little bit low to the ground, all at once.
I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I was even doing, and as to just what it was that I was in fact even thinking right at this very moment in time too, at that. I kind of just did my best to wake my self up a little bit, all at once, at that. I then did in fact of course, begin to start to go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to speak a little bit quietly to my self, all at once. It was as if there were people around that I was worried would hear me. Which of course was not the case what so ever.
"Damn Ben... Wake up... Things are going to be okay... Just keep a close eye on her... Christian did the same thing for you dumb ass..." I said to my self, all at the exact same time too. I felt like it did in fact make me feel a whole lot better, all at the exact same time too, as soon as it was that I felt like I had in fact thought on such a thing like that, all at once, at that.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and I did my best to try to keep my self as normal as I felt like I possibly could once again, at that. In the end, I then did in fact begin to start to realize that things would be fine. Of course I would in fact keep a close eye on her, as I would make sure that it was that she was to never leave my sight what so ever, at that.
Not only that, but I knew that she was not like me when it was that I had first got in to this. I knew that she was not going to go and try to do a whole bunch of shit on her own what so ever, all at the exact same time too, as I felt a bit better, and I felt a bit more calm as soon as it was that I had in fact began to start to realize that it was in fact even the case, all at the exact same time too, as I then did in fact begin to start to get my mind and my focus off of all of the rest of that other stuff that it was that I had even been thinking on long before now, at that.
As it was that I had in fact began to start to wake my self up to that a little bit, so to say. I then did in fact begin to start to continue to walk through the empty road, just as it was that I had in fact been doing long before now, at that, none the less. As it was that I could in fact see Sasha's place from not all too far away from me, all at the exact same time too.
I kind of gulped a little bit to my self, all at once, for some odd reason or another, as in the end, I then did in fact just go right on ahead, and I then did in fact seem to stop my self a little bit for some stupid reason or another. I just seemed to stand there and stare at her place for just a little bit more time, all at once, as in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to let out a little bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too, at that.
I then did in fact just go right on ahead, and I then did in fact all of the sudden start to head right on over to just where it was that her side walk was that led to her front door was at, all at the exact same time too. As I then did in fact begin to start to put my feet on to the side walk, all at the exact same time as well, once again.
That was when I then did in fact begin to start to hear some sort of noise come from right in front of me, all at the exact same time too. I was in fact quite a bit lost as to just what it was that was in fact even going on right at this very moment in time too, at first, all at the exact same time as well. How ever, in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to realize, and I began to start to notice that all at once.
That it was of course that the front door of Sasha's place was in fact beginning to start to open. Which of course being the natural instinct and first habit of me, all at the exact same time too. I began to start to freak out, and I began to start to panic a little bit, all at the exact same time as well.
I wondered if it was that she had in fact might have left her door open for some odd reason or another, which I felt like would only confirm to me that some thing bad, and that some thing was in fact going on right here and right now, at that. As I kind of just began to start to get ready to make sure that ever thing was okay, all at the exact same time too, at that.
That was when I then did in fact begin to start to turn my head, and my eyes over to the front door of Sasha's place, all at once. As it seemed like just as it was that I had in fact began to start to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too, all at once, once again. That was when I then did in fact begin to start to notice that all at the exact same time as well, that it was of course that Sasha was in fact right there with a big smile on her face, all at the exact same time too.
It was clear to me that she was in fact happy to see my face, all at the exact same time too, as I felt like that I too was in fact happy to see hers, all at the exact same time too. And of course me knowing that we were still a thing, and that we were back together. I went up to her, and I then gave her a nice kiss on the lips, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when I then did in fact let go of her, as I saw that she had her eyes a little bit wide for some odd reason or another. As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to stare at her right in to her eyes for a little bit more time, at that. That was when she then did in fact just go right on ahead, and she then did in fact begin to start to go on and speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, at that.
I was still a bit lost as to just what it was that was in fact even going on right at this very moment in time any ways, at that. How ever, in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead and nod back to her, at that. I knew that of course, that I was in fact letting her know that I was in fact paying my attention as to just what ever it was that she was about to go on ahead and even say to me, at that.
I was still a little bit lost in my head right now, all at the exact same time too, at that. If it was that I was not going to lie to my self of course. How ever, as it was that it had in fact felt like it seemed to be, all at the exact same time too, I then did in fact begin to start to continue to hear her voice speak to me, all at once. I of course did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even had to say to me, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, once again.
"Are you okay Ben?" She said to me, all at the exact same time too. I could tell, just based off of the fact that she had her eyes wide. And also that the look that was on her face right at this very moment in time too.
That she was of course a little bit worried about me right at this very moment in time as well. Which of course I could not blame her for, as based off of the thoughts that were going on in my head right now. I felt like I was worried, and I was scared of just about every thing right at this very moment in time as well.
I felt like I just wanted to tell her to stay in side, where it was that it would be much more safe for her. How ever, I also knew that was not what it was that she would want. She did not have a goal, and she did not have a purpose any more, now that it was that the attack on the community had happened, none the less.
Her job had of course been taking care of the kids at the day care. But now with less than 10 kids in this entire community, at that, all at the exact same time too. It kind of seemed like, if it was that I was not going to lie to my self either, at that, never the less.
She was tired, and she felt like she needed to do some thing with her life, at that. I felt like if it was that I did not let her go out with me. Than it was that she would go out there on her own doing, all at the exact same time as well, which for sure would not end all too well for her.
I would much rather have her with me and all of the other groups of friends that were in fact experienced out here as well, at that. She also did in fact have Phillip as well, as I knew that they could learn well together. I felt like this was going to be fine, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I was really all too worried about.
I kind of just let out a little bit of a heavy sigh to my self, all at once, as in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to turn my head back over to Sasha, at that, as well. As I then did in fact begin to start to nod a little bit over towards her, at that. I did in fact have a little bit of a guilty look on my face for some odd reason or another, which I was not all too sure as to just why it was that it was in fact the case, as well.
Luckily enough for me, she either just did not seem to notice, or she just did not seem to be all too bothered by that at all, what so ever. As she then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and she then did in fact begin to start to nod to me, at that, as well. As it was clear to me that right at this very moment in time too, that it was that she was in fact letting me know that she did in fact have her full attention on to me right now.
I did not seem to be all too bothered by it either which way it was that it just so happened to be, at that. I just kept on going, and I continued to go on ahead and speak to her, all at once. I of course knew that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I did in fact feel like I even had to say to her in the very first place any ways, at that.
"Yeah... I'm just afraid Sasha... I don't want to lose any one else..." I said to her, all at the exact same time too. As I knew that it was in fact the truth, as I felt like it was far too long of a story, and too much to think about by telling her every thing that it was that I was in fact thinning right at this very moment in time too, at that.
As I seemed to look at her with the same bit of some look of guilt for just a little bit longer. That was when I then did in fact see that she did in fact have a little bit of a look of some sympathy on her face, at that. I knew that she too had in fact lost some of her family during this times too, as I knew that it did in fact make quite a bit of some sense, at that.
I kind of felt bad as to the way that I was being, as I knew that this was not any sort of competition as to just who had lost the most. Though I knew that she knew about my parents, as of course they had been the leaders before now. And I also knew that she knew about my sister and my brother, who my brother was in fact thankfully still alive, at that.
I was not all too sure if I could say the same for my sister, if I was not going to lie to my self either. I kind of just gulped a little bit heavily to my self, all at once, as in the end, I then did in fact just kind of wake my self up a bit all at once. I then did in fact begin to start to calm my self down just a little bit, all at the exact same time too, at that, none the less.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and I did my best to try to keep my self as normal as I felt like I possibly could, all at once. In the end, I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to calm my self down a little bit, all at once. I kind of closed my eyes for just a few seconds, as I did my best to try to free my mind as much as it was that I felt like I possibly even could do in the mean time, all at once.
In the end, I then did in fact just go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to get my eyes, and my focus on Sasha, all at once. A part of the reason as to just why it was that I was now doing so was of course. The fact that it was that she was in fact now all of the sudden beginning to start to speak to me, all at the exact same time too, at that.
I kind of just breathed in a little bit of a heavy sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too. I then did in fact begin to start to blink my eyes a few times, all at the exact same time as well. As I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and I began to start to nod to her all of the sudden, all at once. It was clear that it was that I was in fact letting her know that it was that I did in fact have my full attention, and my full focus on just what ever it was that she was about to go on ahead, and even say to me, at that.
As it was that I had in fact began to start to do as such a thing back to her as a little bit of some sort of response, all at once, at that. That was when she then did in fact begin to start to speak to me, all at the exact same time too. I was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that she did in fact even feel like she even had to say to me, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, at that.
"It's okay Ben... I will be alright... I will be by your side..." She said to me, all at the exact same time too. I kind of just stood there, and I kind of stared for just a little bit more of some time, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I should do, nor as to just how it was that I should even respond as to just what it was that she had in fact even just said to me, all at the exact same time too, at that.
I kind of felt like it did in fact make me feel a bit worse about all of this, if it was that I was not going to lie to my self either, at that. I kind of felt like I was a bit scared, and I was in fact a bit afraid even more now of losing her. I knew that it was that I was in fact to lose her, than it would be my own fault, and it would in fact be always on my own conscious, all at the exact same time too, at that.
I kind of felt a little bit sick at the thought of that, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and I did my best to try to keep my self as normal as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, all at once, at that. I then in the end, did in fact begin to start to let out quite a bit of a rough, and a bit of a heavy sigh to my self, at that.
I just then did in fact begin to start to get my mind, and I began to start to get my focus off of all of the rest of that other stuff, all at once. I then did in fact begin to start to look down the road that it was that I had in fact just headed down to get to her place, all at the exact same time too. As it had in fact been very hot out side this evening, but I also knew that luckily it was not all too far to get to her place, all at the exact same time too.
She had a place near where all of the man community people were at as well, such as it was that I did. As of course that was due to the fact that it was that we were in fact important people in the community, at that. I kind of just shook my head a little bit to my self, all at once, as I knew that I did not want to have too big of an ego about me, all at the exact same time too.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there and stare down the road for a little bit more time, all at the exact same time too, at that. That was when in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to remember as to just what it was that I had in fact came here to do in the very first place any ways. As I began to start to remember that we were going to go meet up with Phillip at his place not all too far away, all at the exact same time too, at that.
I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and as normal as I felt like I possibly could, all at once. I was in fact glad that I had in fact got my mind, and I had in fact got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that it was that I had in fact even been thinking on long before now at that, never the less. I kind of let out quite a bit of a heavy sigh of some sort of relief to my self, all at once.
In the end, I then did in fact begin to start to look away from all of the rest of that other stuff that it was that I had in fact been thinking on long before now, at that. I kind of just seemed to stand there and stare for just a slight bit more time, at that. As in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to turn my head on over to just where it was that Sasha was in fact standing right now.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time as well, none the less. That was when in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and I began to start to nod to her, all at once. As of course, it was clear to the both of us that I was in fact letting her know that it was that I was in fact about to go on ahead and speak to her, at that.
As soon as it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once. I just kind of let out a little bit a groan to my self, all at once. It was almost as if I did not want to do this.
That was not the case what so ever how ever, at that. I then did in fact begin to start to nod my head over to her, all at the exact same time too. I let her know that of course, that I was in fact paying my attention as to just what ever it was that she was in fact about to go on ahead and say, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time as well. That was when she then did in fact begin to start to speak to me all of the sudden, all at once. I knew that it was that she was of course beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I felt like I even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, at that.
"Well... Let's just keep going, and let's go meet with Jordan and Phillip... Any further questions can be discussed with them..."