Finally Dead (Book 4)

Chapter 3: Waiting On Us

I continued to take the lead for Sasha, as of course, we were in fact going over to the park, to go meet up with Jordan and Phillip. It kind of felt off, and it kind of felt cold to me as to the fact that we would be going to this specific park on this day. I knew that what today was, as it was my mothers birth day of course, at that.
But not only was it my mother's birth day, but it was also the summer. And I knew that when ever it was that it was in fact the summer. That was when I would come to play at the park with my friends, all at the exact same time too, as that of course included both Jordan and Phillip.
I kind of dipped my head a little bit low to the ground all of the sudden, at that thought of that, all at once. As in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of that other stuff, all at once. As I just then did in fact keep on going over to just where it was that I could in fact see the park at all the way out in the distance, all at the exact same time too.
I did my best to just try to keep my self as calm, and as normal as I felt like I possibly could, all at once. As in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden hear the voice of Sasha, all at once. As it was in fact quite a bit clear to me that right at this very moment in time too, that she was of course beginning to start to speak to me all of the sudden.
As it was that I had in fact began to start to realize as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time as well, never the less. That was when in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to turn my head over to her, all at the exact same time too. I then did in fact begin to start to nod on over to her, all at the exact same time too, once again. As it was in fact clear that it was that I was in fact letting her know that I did in fact have my full focus, and my full attention on to just what ever it was that she felt like she did in fact even have to say to me, at that.
As soon as it was that she had in fact seen me, and she had in fact noticed as to the fact that I had in fact done as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden hear her begin to start to continue to speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, never the less. I of course, did in fact begin to start to go on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even had to say to me right at this very moment in time as well, never the less.
"Are you okay Ben? You haven't been acting the normal way that you are when I have been around you all day... Did I do some thing wrong?" She said to me, all at the exact same time too, all at once. I saw that this time, in stead of the usual kinky look that she kind of had on her face when it was that she had in fact said as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time as well.
It was clear to me that she was in fact a little bit afraid of the fact that it was that she might have in fact messed up a little bit about some thing, all at the exact same time too, at that. I kind of felt like I almost did in fact want to go with that, all at the exact same time as well. I felt like it would in fact be a good way to get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts, all at once, as well.
I also knew that there was no reason at all how ever, for me to be upset with Sasha right now, all at the exact same time too. I just kind of stood there, and I stared for just a little bit more time, all at once. I did in fact have a little bit of a guilty look on my face, all at the exact same time too.
It was not only just due to the fact of just what it was that I had in fact even been thinking on just a few moments before now. But it was also due to the fact that I felt a bit bad as to the actual reason as to just why it was that I was in fact acting the way that it was that I was in fact being right now, all at the exact same time as well.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to stare at Sasha right in to her face for quite a bit of some time, all at once. That was when in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden see her begin to start to dip her head a little bit low to the ground, all at once. I kind of let out a little bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at once, as I felt a little bit bad as to just the way that things were in fact going, and the way that it was that they were in fact playing out right at this very moment in time too.
I kind of cursed my self a little bit under my own breathe, all at once, as in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to step up, and I did in fact begin to start to speak up to Sasha, all at once. I knew that I needed to explain to her as to just what it was that was going on with me right now. I knew that it was not at all her fault, as it was my own, for just the way that it was that I was in fact thinking, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to stand there, and I did in fact just seem to continue to stare at Sasha right in to her very own eyes, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, once again. That was when I then did in fact just begin to start to nod to her, all at once. It was clear to the both of us, that I was in fact about to go right on ahead, and I was about to all of the sudden speak to her all of the sudden.
It seemed to clear her mind, and it did in fact seem to clear her conscious quite a bit, as to just what it was that was in fact going on right now, all at the exact same time too. I then did in fact begin to start to see her, all at once, as it was that she did in fact begin to start to nod back to me, at that. As it was in fact clear to me that she was in fact letting me know that right at this very moment in time as well. That she was in fact of course, beginning to start to pay her full attention on to just what ever it was that I was about to go on ahead and even say to her, at that.
I kind of let out a little bit of a soft sigh of some sort of relief to my self, all at once, as it was that I had in fact felt a bit better as soon as it was that I had in fact realized that it was in fact the case, all at once. I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to speak to her, all at the exact same time as well, none the less. I knew that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I did in fact even feel like I even had to say to her, all at the exact same time as well, at that, none the less.
"Well... I am just worried, and I am scared about losing you out there..." I said to her, all at the exact same time too, as I knew that it was in fact the truth, all at the exact same time as well, none the else. I kind of just seemed to continue to stand there and stare at her right in to her eyes for just a little bit longer, just to know that that it was that I did in fact care about her.
And dare I even say it? I felt like I was in fact in love with this girl, all at the exact same time too. As I did in fact kind of have a little bit of some fear as to the fact that it was that I would in fact think on that word at all, all at the exact same time too.
I knew as to just what it was that it was that always seemed to happen when ever it was that it was that I did in fact feel like I loved some one. It was of course the fact that it was that I always seemed to lose them, all at the exact same time too. Perhaps I should simply get used to that, and I should expect that when ever, now that it was that I did in fact truly see as to just how horrific it was that this world did in fact just so happen to be, all at the exact same time too, once again.
I kind of just seemed to continue to stand there, and I did in fact just seem continue to stare there for a little bit more time, all at once. In the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to get my mind, and I just then did in fact begin to start to get my mind and my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts, once again.
Perhaps it was best just to live life the way it was that I had lived it before. I knew at this point, that the more I thought about it, the more it was that it was going to hurt me, all at the exact same time too. I knew that I had already lost enough as it was already, all at the exact same time too, as I felt like I should not be a big pussy, and I should in fact be ready to lose some more when ever it was that the time was to come.
I could not control the life of every one, as I knew that at some point of course, that people were in fact going to have to make some decisions for them selves, all at the exact same time too. I knew that it was that I could not tell Sasha not to come with me on this journey out in to who ever knows where, all at the exact same time too.
I knew that she wanted this, and I knew that it was that she also did in fact care about me, and that she wanted to be by my side, all at the exact same time as well, at that. It was some thing that my friend, and my mentor Christian, and in fact told me time and time again, as I could not just waste away my entire life, trying to protect people that were destined to die.
I kind of just seemed to continue to stand there, and I continued to stare for just a little bit more time, all at the exact same time too, as in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to hear the voice of Sasha, all at the exact same time as well, as it was in fact clear to me that right at this very moment in time too, that it was that she did in fact feel like she had some thing to say as a little bit of a response, all at the exact same time too.
I kind of just seemed to stare right back at her for just a little bit more of some time, all at once. As in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to blink my eyes a few times, all at the exact same time too. As I then did in fact as well, begin to start to all of the sudden nod right back on over to her, all at the exact same time too. I knew that it was that she now knew as to the fact that it was that I was in fact paying my full attention on to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even had to say to me, all at the exact same time as well, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once, that was when she then did in fact just begin to start to nod right back on over to me once again. She then did in fact go right on ahead, and she then began to start to speak to me, all at once. I of course did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that she even felt like she had to say to me, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
"Well... I am not all too worried... As long as you are by my side... I feel safe... I just want you to know that Ben..." She said to me, all at the exact same time too, as I felt like I almost wanted to roll my eyes on as to just what it was that she had in fact felt like she had even just said to me, all at the exact same time too, at that.
I knew that it was that it did not at all make me feel any sort of better at all, as to just what it was that was in fact even going on right at this very moment in time either. I knew that I was not all too sure as to the fact that it was that she did in fact even know as to just what it was that she had even said. I felt like I could barely trust my self as to protecting my own self, all at the exact same time too.
I felt like it was a little bit hard to feel like I could in fact handle the stress of having to take care of some one else, all at the exact same time too. I kind of felt like as well, that I could very well just be looking at this all from the wrong point of view, all at the exact same time too, all at once.
How ever, I just kind of felt like, if there was one thing that it was that I could say about Sasha, at that. Was that she seemed to be even more anti social than it was that I even was, all at the exact same time too. I felt like that was saying a lot as well, as I knew that I was always scared to talk to people, and I was not the best with words at all, all at the exact same time too.
It kind of felt a little bit strange to me as to the fact that it was in fact the case with Sasha how ever. As I knew that she was an insanely good looking girl, all at the exact same time too, as I felt like she would have a lot of people that wanted to be her friends, all at the exact same time too, when ever it was that she had been younger. How ever, that just did not seem to be the case what so ever, at all.
I kind of just let out quite a bit of a heavy sigh to my self, all at once, as in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to get my mind, and I just then did in fact begin to start to get my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts once again. I just kind of let out a little bit of a heavy sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too. I did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and I did my best to try to keep my self as normal as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, all at once, once again.
In the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, and I began to start to nod right back on over to her, all at once. It was clear that it was that I was in fact letting her know that for a fact, that it was that I was in fact about to go right on ahead and speak to her, all at once. As I just kind of then did in fact begin to start to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time as well, once again, none the less. That was when she then did in fact begin to start to nod on right back over to me, all at the exact same time as well. It was clear to me that she was in fact letting me know that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to pay attention on to just what it was that it was that I even felt like I needed to even say back to her, all at the exact same time as well, once again, never the less.
I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and I did my best to try to keep my self as normal as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, all at once, as in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to continue to go right on ahead. I then did in fact begin to start to speak to her, all at the exact same time as well. As this time of course, I knew that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I even felt like I even had to say to her, in the very first place any ways, never the less, once again.
"Well... Let's just keep going to the park... I can worry about it all later... Let's just get ready for this party first..." I said to her, all at the exact same time as well, as I knew that I needed to be happy about that, and that was what it was that I needed to have my mind and my focus on just right at this very moment in time as well, all at the exact same time too.
I knew that it was that of course, that I had in fact been looking forward to this for quite a bit of some time, all at the exact same time too. I knew that it was that Jordan and Phillip of course, had in fact managed to steal some alcoholic beverages from the store, all at the exact same time too, the last time it was that they had gone.
That was what it was that I was most excited for, if it was that I was not going to lie to my self either. I kind of felt like I wanted to know as to just what it was that it was going to be like to get drunk, all at the exact same time as well, never the less. I had in fact made sure that Chester knew for a fact that my brother did in fact need to go with his friend over to Kim's house for the night, all at the exact same time too.
I was not all too sure as to just how out of hand this night was going to get, and I felt like my brother was far too young, and that he was far too innocent to have to witness it, all at the exact same time too, at that. I just kind of blinked my eyes a few times, all at the exact same time as well, as I felt like it might be a bad idea, all at the exact same time too, but it really just did not matter at all to me, all at the exact same time as well, at that.
I kind of just seemed to continue to stand there, and I just seemed to continue to stare for a little bit longer, until it was that I then did in fact just seem to start to hear the voice of Sasha, all at the exact same time as well, none the less. It was clear to me that right at this very moment in time too, that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to continue to go right on ahead, and she was in fact beginning to start to continue to speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, at that.
I kind of just continued to stare there for just a little bit more time, all at once, as in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to nod right back on over to her, all at once. I saw that she had her head tilted a little bit over towards me, as it was clear that she was lost as to just what it was that was in fact even doing right now. As it was clear to me that it was that I was letting her know that it was that I was in fact beginning to start to pay my full attention on to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even had to say to me, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, once again.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to stand there and stare for just a little bit more time, all at once, that was when I then in the end, did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden hear her voice, as it was that she did in fact begin to start to continue to speak to me, at that. I of course, did in fact begin to start to continue to listen as to just what it was that she felt like she even needed to say to me right at this very moment in time as well, never the less, once again.
"So... Are we just going to stand here then? Or are you going to go?" She said to me, all at once, as I saw that much to my surprise, all at the exact same time too, that she did in fact kind of have her eyes squinted on over towards me, all at the exact same time as well, as it was in fact clear to me that right at this very moment in time as well, that it was that she was letting me know that I needed to wake my self up.
I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I was doing, and as to just what it was that was even going on right at this very moment in time either, if it was that I was in fact going to be for real with my self, all at the exact same time too. How ever, in the end, after just what it was that she had in fact even just said to me, all at the exact same time as well, that was when it then did in fact just seem to start to wake me up a little bit, all at the exact same time as well, as to just what it was that was in fact even going on right at this very moment in time as well, none the less.
I began to start to look all around me, all at once, as I then did in fact begin to start to spot the park in the back ground, all at once. As it was that it was in fact clear to me, all at the exact same time as well, that it was of course, right on ahead in fact the park that it was that we needed to be heading on over to, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
It was already starting to get a little bit dark out right at this very moment in time too, as I knew that it was that I did in fact have my mind, and I did in fact have my focus on just what it was that had to do with what it was that was even going on right now. I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and I did my best to just keep my self as normal as I felt like I possibly could once again, at that.
As it was that I just had in fact seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden get my mind, and I just then did in fact begin to start to get my focus off of all of the rest of that other stuff, all at the exact same time too, once again. I kind of just seemed to clear my thoughts, just as it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that.
I then did in fact begin to start to nod back to Sasha, all at the exact same time too, as it was clear to me that right at this very moment in time as well, that I was in fact letting her know as to just the fact that it was that I was about to go on ahead and start to speak to her all of the sudden, at that. I knew that it was that she knew as to the fact that I was about to go on ahead and start to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too.
I then did in fact just go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to all of the sudden see her, all at once, once again. As it was that she then did in fact begin to start to nod right on ahead right back over to me, all at the exact same time as well. I knew that it was that of course, that she was in fact beginning to start to go right on ahead, and that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to pay her full attention on to just what it was that I even had to say to her, all at the exact same time as well.
As I just seemed to continue to stand there, and I continued to stare for just  a little bit more time, at that. That was when in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to step up and speak to her, all at once. I knew that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I even had to say to her of course.
"Yes... Sorry... I am sure that they are waiting on us..."