🎵You're the light, you're the night You're the color of my blood You're the cure, you're the pain You're the only thing I wanna touch Never knew that it could mean so much, so much🎵
<3-Ellie Goulding-<3
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I knock and hear hear his feet padding on the floor in a hurry.
"One second." He yells out. I hear a drawer slam.
"Im coming in. Ive seen you naked before." I half laugh. I open the door and push it.
"No Ha-." I feel my heart fall to my stomach and my skin run cold. I stair blankly at him standing at his dresser with his shirt clinched in his hands. Hes staring back at me not saying anything. I manage to blink a few times. I feel my feet move slowly towards him. When I get inches away from him my knees buckle and I fall in front of him sitting on my knees. Bringing my hands up I take his wrists in my hands. He drops the shirt between us.
"Why? Why would you do this? Did I- Did I make you do this? Is it because of me and the things Ive said to you?" I hear my voice shaking. I stare at the old cuts with the fresh ones just above them.
"No, Fuck Harry! I have no one, I have nobody anymore. I moved here two months ago and I still have no friends. I mean I know Zayn but hes not like he use to be. I wouldnt consider Niall and Liam my friends because Ive barley spoken to either of them. I have no fucking parents because they disowned me because Im fucking gay! Who wants a son thats gay right? and yea James is here now but shit gets awkward with me and him because you act like a crazy person when hes around and youre going to end up killing him, so Ill not have him much longer either and well, I know you but you arent a friend, I dont think? I dont know what to call you, you said we would just be each others escape. So its like youre just using me." I hear him throw out his excuses while sniffling. I manage to take my eyes off the old and fresh blade marks. His sky blue eyes filled with tears looking down at me.
"And umm, I- umm." He swallows hard.
"I started it when I told you I was going to get a fix for my self."
"I am so sorry Lou, Im sorry you have ever had to feel what a dick life can be, You shouldnt have to go through any of this. Youre parents should love you for who you are. So you started cutting to keep your mind off of coke?"
"Yea, I did and well the pain. It makes no sense, I know but its a different kind of pain. Instead of it hurting me like the emotional pain does it takes it away and replaces it with good pain." Im rubbing the sides of his wrist being sure to not touch his cuts.
"I just want it to stop, I just want the pain to stop." He trembles.
"Oh blue." I drop his wrists and move my arms around his waist wrapping them around him. My forehead is rested against his stomach. I feel his stomach start shaking from him crying. I wrap my arms around him tighter. I feel his hands come up to my shoulders holding them before I feel them in the back of my hair.
