Live|Laugh|No Love

29

🎶 I'm fallin' apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you🎶
💙Broken-Lifehouse💙

Staying up all night staring at the ceiling, I listened to the quietness, seeing if I could hear Louis walking through the hallway or any doors opening and closing, but I never heard a sound. All I heard was... silence. I hate this. I hate knowing he's hurting and not just physically. He's hurting mentally and emotionally and I can't help him. I've been trying to stay right by his side but it seems that's not helping, only seems like it's making him worse. He needs help and it kills me knowing I can't help him. After laying here in his bedroom for hours awake I decided to go online and search a few things and found a few things I think could be wrong with him and well... He needs professional help, therapist and medication. He has what sounds like (ASD) acute stress disorder. The symptoms are like PTSD but you only get diagnosed with ptsd if you've had it longer than a month, when asd you can get within the first month or sooner. The symptoms for asd are :Low mood :irritability: emotional ups and downs :poor sleep :poor concentration :wanting to be alone :recurrent dreams or flash backs which can be intrusive and unpleasant.

As I kept reading I seen asd could also turn into ptsd. Louis needs help and it kills me knowing I'm not of any help for what's going on with him. This isn't my Louis. I need my Louis back.

The sound of a door closing makes my head snap to the side. I click my phone off and get off the bed. I open the door to the room I'm in and look in the hall but see nobody. I walk over to my bedroom door and open it. Louis isn't in here. I furrow my brows and back out back into the hall. He's not in the bathroom because the doors wide open. Turning on my heels I walk down the stairs and look in the living room. Nothing. Opening the bathroom door down stairs only to yet again see nothing. I check the last place in the house which is the kitchen and still find no Louis. I rush to the front door and jerk it open running out onto the porch and jumping over the steps landing my feet on the walk way. I run to the end of my drive way and see a person with purple joggers and a black hoodie on with the hood pulled up. I take off running after the person because I know it's him.

"Louis!" I yell out feeling the sting of the side walk under my feet seeing how I didn't even slip my shoes on before running out of the house. I'm about 10 feet behind him.

"Louis what the hell are you doing!" I yell out again but he doesn't turn around. I make my self run faster finally getting at least six feet behind him out of breath I grab my ribs having a sharp pain in them from being broken along time ago and from running so hard. I reach out to touch his shoulder when he jerks his shoulder away and whips his body around making me stop.

"Why can't you leave me be! I just want to be alone for a little while Harry!"

"I have le-."

"Oh yea for a whole what? Sixteen hours?" I blink slowly at him.

"Do you want more hours away from me?"

"Yea Harry, fucking obviously!"

"I'm so confused right now. You apologized to me last night and now you're..." I remember what I read a few hours ago and stopped myself from finishing my sentence. He can't help what's happening to him. He can't control it.

"Lou, I- I think you need help baby. I was reading up on some things and I think I found what's going on with you or at least close to what it sounds like." Louis shakes his head giving me a disgusted look.

"The only thing I need Harry is to be alone! I don't want you trying to help me. You've done enough, haven't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean? 'I've done enough' are you saying all this is my f-."