Live|Laugh|No Love

41

"How about you going get the shower heated up and I'll be in there soon?" Harry looks at me with tired eyes. I nod with a grin getting out of the bed and going to the bathroom. I turn the knob turning on the water and wait a second sticking my hand in I feel it's starting to heat up. I go back to the bedroom and see the curly haired boy on his stomach with his arms curled under the pillow and his eyes shut. The sheet is covering just his lower half with his bare back showing. I lean against the door admiring what's laying exhausted in my bed. I go back to the bathroom and shut the water off and rush back to the bedroom. We can shower when he wakes up. Usually I'd prefer to shower straight away but right now, I'd like to be laid up with him to soak up any time with him I can. He'll be gone in four days. So right now all I want to do is be with him, dirty, sweaty, clean, doesn't matter. As long as I'm with him. I easily get back in the bed gently laying my arm over his back and lean my head into his shoulder closing my eyes. His scent fills my nostrils and I breath it in like I'll never be able to smell again. I lean my head up looking over his face again. I can't help it. He's wonderful to look at. I have missed seeing him asleep beside of me. I've missed opening my eyes and seeing him like this, what I don't miss is seeing the tired circles under his eyes. Does he still have the nightmares? I know I have them and that's why my eyes have rings around them but I'm worried about him. His nightmares are far worse than mine, at least to me they are. For god sakes he dreams about his own father, his own fleshing blood beating him as a child! Think about it makes my stomach churn. I clench my jaws and bring my hand up moving the hair out of his face.

"I am so sorry for everything you have had to go through, then and now. That includes me, I'm sorry you love a person who isn't normal, who has many fucked up problems now. I'm just sorry." I whisper to the sleeping beautiful boy laying peacefully.

"I'm not." His sleepy raspy voice says. My eyes flicker to his lips. I stay silently looking at him.

"I'm not sorry for loving you, and what's fun about being normal? Normal is boring baby. I loved you then, and I'll love you now." He says kissing my forehead, rolling over and pulling me closer into him. I wrap my arm around him and squeeze him laying my head into his chest closing my eyes.

"We will be not 'normal' together and we will both be a fucked up mess lou." I bite my lip feeling it tremble.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I say with my voice cracking which only makes him tighten his arms.

"I know baby, me too. Right now let's just live in the moment yea? Pretend I'm not going anywhere. Let's enjoy this time with each other."

"Pretending sound nice right now." I say kissing his chest.

"Let's get some rest ok? I've not had a decent sleep in awhile." I tilt my head back looking up at him his eyes are closed again.

"Why haven't you slept good? Is it the nightmares?" He softly grins.

"I don't have them anymore, it seems smoking a joint every night before bed has cured that." I feel a giggle form in my throat.

"Maybe I'll try that...."

"You're not there." Harry's eyes open flicking down looking at me. I furrow my brows a little confused.

"Hmm?"

"You're not there, laying besides of me or in front of me, or behind me. You're not with me when I sleep. That's why I don't get decent rest." My eyes stay on his.

"I-."

"So these next few days, I just want to get some good sleep and by being able to feel you in the bed, I know I'll be able to get good nights sleep."

"You'll not sleep alone these next few days. I promise." He leans down pressing his soft pink lips to mine and I feel it. The electric shock run through me.