So you've decided to read on. Good choice! Let's start with an easy warm-up: The alwayses and the nevers of the Rupp household. These are the basics, but Ana and Patrick won't tell you these:
ALWAYS show family pride
ALWAYS commit to one sport and one instrument
ALWAYS dress according to the gender you were assigned at birth
The Rupps don't believe in tomboys or tomgirls
ALWAYS maintain eye contact with your family members
Otherwise, you'll be prone to more family bullying, drama, attacks, and trouble
NEVER eat more than what you're given (one plate)
You'll be body shamed for months on end
ALWAYS come up with a nickname for yourself
Otherwise, your family members will give you one, and it won't be very nice
However, knowing the rules isn't enough. You also need a secret weapon: Gossip. In the Rupp household, dirt gives you power, so go find some. Do what you have to do. Write it on the white baseboard in the garage. Be sure to use a red sharpie. Not sure who's got a secret? Try Ana. She isn't actually 5 years older than Patrick.