I knew something was wrong with me the minute December hit and I wasn't excited for Christmas like I usually was every year...
And it all blew over on Christmas Day.
You see, Patrick isn't the best father.
In fact, I don't consider anyone in my family, family, rather as strangers I have to work with until I reach the age of consent.
I had a severe panic attack on Christmas Day and it resulted in me being traumatised by both parents.
Before I confuse you any further, let's rewind to Christmas Eve...
Ana had enough of Patrick and suggested the idea to stay in a hotel in the city, to spend Christmas together, like we used to before Bryan and his shitfaces, and Patrick moved in. Ana worried that I would be angry the whole time, which, tbh, she doesn't know me and now that I think about it, was most likely trying to trigger this. I get it, you haven't punished someone in a long time and just want to feel that rush again, but punish Brandon for a change. He can't do a damn thing.
Anyways, we went to the hotel...and had an AMAZING time!
We stayed up late, watched movies, ate Panera, and had a great time.
Afterwards, we ate the complimentary breakfast, went home, opened presents, and enjoyed each other's company.
This year would be the first year I would get two Christmases. I was excited because DOUBLE PRESENTS!
Little did I know this excitement would blow up in my face...
I got what I wanted...with extras, I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR NOR NEED!
Patrick always likes to teach lessons during the most inconvenient times and argues with Ana as a result.
I had a panic attack and Ana got pissed at me for not getting her a present.
Yeah... people like Ana and Patrick DON'T get Christmas presents.
After getting screamed at while picking up our Bentos for being "Satan", Ana SOMEHOW came through and as a result, stopped obliging me to go to Patrick's house.
Sometimes, it takes a little bit of a beat to get what you want.
The real question is...how much can you take?
Will you live your way...or their way?
I'm almost 18. Pretty soon, I won't have to live with them at all.
I thought it would all be over if I slept all my problems off...
It did not.
I spent the last two nights in Ana's bed and I am still not fully recovered.
This is the longest depression episode I've ever had in my life.
Of course, Ana's genius solution is to just "control" it.
Yeah...that's not how it works.
Ana is so concerned because she doesn't want my depression to affect me in my academics and staff. I wouldn't be able to work.
Distracting myself only strayed away from my goals and when I got off of it, all I could think about was my horrible Christmas, instead of the kid who wanted to end his last year of high school with a bang.
I was happy up until I left Bootcamp to spend time with family.
Family time ISN'T worth it.
Self-improvement was my goal this holiday...and I will do it.
I have exactly ONE WEEK to improve myself before heading back to school for the new year.
There are workout challenges out there that will get me results in that amount of time.
LET'S DO THIS!
