The past 1.5 weeks have been super intense and an emotional roller coaster. Ana accusing Camden and I of skipping school to go out on dates has caused me to hit an all-time low, plan to kill myself, stop hanging out with my friends, lose motivation and ability to complete schoolwork, and leave me with a shit ton of depression and anxiety. And yeah...I binged.
But...things began to look up.
Guthrie and the Karen attendance lady that I stan saved my butt. They helped me end all the shit that Ana put onto me.
Camden asked me to the movies with him.
We watched "Dog" (2022) alone together.
The most romantic thing that happened was us sharing an armrest for the last two minutes of the movie, him buying my favourite candy, and him comforting me by placing his hand on my shoulder...
Wait a minute...
Is this what humans call...love?
This week...this time...
I'M TAKING MY LIFE BACK!
I have a family therapy session this Thursday with my Karen therapist, but...
I can't rely on others to help me.
Sure Guthrie and the Karen attendance lady I stan may have saved--MY LIFE, but at the end of the day...
I'm the only one who can save myself.
---
If only I could make my mother understand...
I just don't see how a culture that is capable of doing such incredible things...could be so bad?
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't ya think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't ya think I'm the girl?
The girl who has everything?
Look at this house, my mother bought it with cash
Others would have to pay off loans until their 80s for it
Looking around my house you'd think
Sure, she's got everything
I've got designer clothing and the latest Apple electronics aplenty
I've got cultural meals and a mother that does all the chores
Do you need cash?
I've got a twenty
But what's the point?
In living in the "Land of the Free"
If you're never given any freedom...
I wanna be where the white people are
I wanna be seen, wanna be seen with 'em, dancin'
Sipping my fancy cup of -
What do the Americans call them? Oh, Starbucks!
Abiding by tradition, you don't get too far
Modernity is required for an evolving and progressing society
Experience what the Americans call, what's the word, life.
Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free, wish I could be
Part of that culture
What would I give if I could live
Out of my traditional household?
What would I pay to spend a day?
Making my own decisions and learning from my experiences?
Betcha the whites, they understand
Bet they don't call their daughters sluts for hanging out with a boy alone
A bright Ecuadorian woman, sick of tradition
Ready to stand
And ready to know what the white people know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it -
What's the word? Burn!
When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore the Western culture surrounding me?
Out of these Ecuadorian standards, wish I could be
Part of that culture...
---
What would I give to experience your culture?
What would I pay to stay here beside you?
What would I do to see you smiling at me?
Where would we walk?
Where would we run?
If we could stay all day in the sun?
Just you and me, and I could be...part of your culture...
I don't know when
I don't know-how
But I know something's starting right now
Watch and you'll see...
Someday I'll be...
PART OF YOUR CULTURE!!!!!
