Today Ana got mad at me over my birthday party, which is ironic because she was supportive of the idea to have it in-person this year and go all out at Dave and Buster's since I wasn't able to have my Sweet 16 due to COVID. Ana got pissed because instead of spending $800 for the party, which includes the unlimited game play, food, drinks, etc. for my friends and the private room rental, I could've saved it for university.
What happened to "Oh, don't worry about the payment, your father and I will figure it out"?
On the topic of university, my mother is always comparing me to my friends, Elena and Danyel, since they're in Early College, and I'm not.
I'm technically also an NKU student. I have my own ID and everything, even though I take my courses at my high school.
Instead of getting upset over what I'm not, Ana and Patrick should be proud of what I am...
After all, they do it with the rest of the children in the family,
Evie is in preschool and can barely count to 5, but they're proud of her for thriving in a real school.
Evelyn is anti-social, but they're proud of her for showing up every day to class (Um...you're kind of obligated to go to school, BY LAW, at her age)
Angelina is a slut-faced whore, but they're proud of her for "having her life together" by getting ready to go out in public as soon as she wakes up.
WHAT ABOUT ME?!
I may not have the intelligence to graduate high school in two years and go to NKU full-time, but I can make a film with any material I'm given. Come on, I could've just said "screw it" with this journaling thing and just left you with a VHS tape of how to survive the Rupp household.
Just one more year and I'll finally be free from this piece-of-shit household and from the piece-of-shit family living inside of it!
(Imma be singing this song A LOT)
I'm trying to bite my tongue
Please make it stop
I just want it all to end
You're always crushing my self-esteem
Taking a greater toll
How are you not noticing?
Shut up for a minute
Take a glance at me
And say one good thing about me
All the hours I put into for straight A's
All the honours and university credits I've earned
Will never be enough
Never be enough
All the recognition I've earned doing community service
My hands could end world hunger but it'll
Never be enough
Never be enough
For them...
