Praying Mantis (Obi-Wan Kenobi x f!reader)

Chapter 13: Shut up and cry

You sighed, opening your mouth to say something before you sealed your lips again, doubting if you would say anything.

"You're right." You finally spoke up, making Obi-Wan get back to reality. "A-About?" He asked you, still holding you down.

"I'm - I, I just can't seem to kill you. You are the first Jedi I hunted like my life depended on it, but I keep getting pulled back towards old memories. It seemed like they tried to erase my memories from before." You stopped your fighting against him and layed still, "I can vaguely remember previous encounters in my early twenties. Even after you killed Maul, we shared a few laughs. But I almost can't remember. I think they erased all my happy times after that. So I would become this."

Obi-Wan let go of you as you sat up straight. Rubbing your wrists in the progress. You didn't want to admit it, but there was a tear fighting it's way outside. Spending time with Obi-Wan made your mind trip. It let lost pieces be found when you didn't even know there were any.

Obi-Wan was only glad for the moment that you had found out that you didn't want to kill him. But he quickly forgot about it when he heard you sniff. He looked up and saw you wiping your tear away.

"You don't need to hide your discomfort Y/N" He stood up and walked up to you, offering a hand to pull you up and you took it without question. "I don't know what to do anymore." Another tear slipped away and then you couldn't contain it anymore. You didn't try to hold it back.

Obi-Wan pulled you in his chest, one arm around your neck while the other wrapped itself behind your head so his hand could rest on top of it. Softly caressing your hair as he whispered to you that everything would be okay.

You wrapped your arms tightly around his back, your head resting against his chest. "I'm sorry fro the wet tunic." you snickered whipping away another tear as you removed yourself from the Jedi.

"Come on dear, let's get back to the ship and discuss our next move." You just nodded in approval, happy that you could let your mind wander as he could lead you back. "Wait." You spoke up quickly and headed back a few meters.

"Our sabers." You spoke up once more, using the force to retrieve yours as obi-Wan did the same for his.

----

"What now?" you started twirling with your thumbs, "I can't exactly go back, not after what I did to some of... your clones." Your statement made Obi-Wan look up confused.

"You didn't think I just found that clone suit right?"

"I uhm-"

"You really thought I just found that? Small reminder, not a good guy."

"You aren't that bad either, I mean for a Sith who is known to hunt and kill Jedi, you really havent lived up to it."

"I can still do it you know. don't test me Kenobi."

He raised his hands up in defeat, "As you wish my lady. Now I was thinking, we could work together. I won't bring you back to the order, we don't tell any one about our trip together and we just, help each other out I guess. What do you think?"

"I mean sounds good to me. I can still do what I was trained for." Obi-Wan shot you a look, not approving of your words.

"Well you don't need to do that. You can be a spy or something, help the order out. If the council knows what you did, they would gladly accept you and welcome you with open arms."

"We talked about this before Kenobi. I can't."

"Could you at least try it?" You threw your hands in your hair as you combed through it, "I guess I can try, but I can't promise. You never know what would happen to me when I return." You clenched your teeth together when you thought about it. You just discovered that they have erased your mind from all the non Sith related stuff of the past 10 years.

"Do you want to talk about it? What you remember? I'm sure I can help you, if you would accept it."

You took a deep breath and obliged, "Alright, but can we go? I don't feel at ease on the planet."

"Okay how about we go to Geonosis, you wanted to go before, you can be my cover, while you enter like normal, I can sneak in. I can get my information and be out before you know it."

You only nodded your head, "Don't you need to contact your council? You haven't gave them any updates whatsoever. I think they are starting to get worried. Well, I guess. Master Dooku just expects im either dead or alive but busy. But since there is no news going around that the Praying Mantis is dead, I assume he knows I'm alive."

"You have a good point there. Do you mind hiding so the council isn't aware of you?" Obi-Wan asked before he would contact them, the nervous behavior was getting more clear to see. He may be part of the council, but he knew that teaming up with a Sith apprentice was probably something the council would scold him for.

"Sure, I understand completely." You gave him a small smile, taking a seat on the floor, right behind his chair. While Obi-Wan checked one last time on you, if you are okay with this, you assured him that it was more than normal.

He talked to them, telling them there was something broken at the fuel tank of the ship, and that he needed to make a detour to Tatooine. While he was answering loads of questions and discussing some other matters, you got lost in thoughts once more.

'What if master Dooku forgot about me? What if he thought I am dead? What if-' Your thoughts seemed to race from one to another. But before you could think of something else, or answer another, Obi-Wan called out to you.

"Y/N you okay?" He looked over his shoulder at you before looking back, making sure the auto-pilot was set up. He got back up to check on you, taking a position on the floor as well. "I think we need to talk about earlier, don't you?" Obi-Wan brought your previous conversation up.

Your head shot up, not wanting to tell him what you saw in your shattered memories. You just couldn't since you didn't even place them in a logic order. It didn't make any sense to you, so why would it to him.

"I don't think that is necessary Obi-Wan." You tried to reason with him, but you weren't even sure who you tried to convince. You stood up, wanting to get your cloak when Obi-Wan took your upper arm midway in action, pulling you back to a seating position. He removed his own and gave it to you, shivering from the cold air that touched his barely covered arms.

"Please, after everything we have been through together, it's the least you can do. I want to know what you remember, even if it are just small pieces, I can help you connect them."

"At this moment Obi-Wan, I rather shut up and cry." You removed his hand from your arm as you stood up once more, with his cloak around you, you got into the chair in the cockpit and fell into another zone. Your thoughts wondering off once more, not paying attention to what was going to happen if you did talk to him. You rather be left alone for a bit, trying to get some trust in the new friendship you made.

His companionship made you feel safe, and it made you comfortable enough to get some sleep, knowing he wouldn't try to tie you down.