Praying Mantis (Obi-Wan Kenobi x f!reader)

Chapter 15: Full potential

You woke up, heart beating loudly in your chest as Obi-Wan quickly moved out of his chair, checking up on you. "Y/N, are you alright?" He asked concerned. You blinked a few times first, trying to remember what happened, but Obi-Wan already helped you with that.

"You practically jumped out of your seat, screaming." He started, "After that you just blacked out back into a slumber. Can you tell me what happened?" You looked confused at him before you realized what actually happened. You remembered one of your lost memories. One that literally happened just moment before your master erased a big part of it.

"I- no, I'm fine, just let me think."

-----

After the short conversation from 30 minutes ago, not a singular word was said. The silence was more than obvious since the only sound that could be heard was the zooming of the machines. It was comfortable towards you, but to Obi-Wan it was torture, he wanted to know what you remembered. If you actually remembered. 

He never brought it up after that one time, he wasn't sure if it was just a dream or if it really happened but after that one mission, after you were send away to take charge of your army. Obi-Wan was partly prepared. He took the fight upon him, leaving his padawan out of this, but he was distracted. His fight with Dooku was partly won with the fear of losing. Losing you in particular.

He feared what was going to happen, what was about to happen with you. Would Dooku hurt you? It was more than obvious, when he was fetched by Anakin and Master Yoda, taken away to be cared for, he saw how Dooku was towering over you, yelling a you. It seemed like Dooku noticed the way you were less violent with him. It wasn't like you two had a pure connection, he sensed it already after you transitioned more into the dark side, that your past self was distanced.

Distanced from Obi Wan and yourself. He could remember that you and him had a close friendship before, but after the events you were slowly distancing yourself from him. He felt a tiny attachment clinging to him. The council never noticed, to his luck, because you were more and more a resemblance of your master. It made it easier to just forget about you.

He thought the old you was dead, after that day, the thing he feared most became true. And that was seen when you stood there in front of him. Ready to make your name once more, but if it wasn't for you, Obi Wan would have took his chance at defeating you already.

Over the past days, he saw a glimpse of your old self, meaning that he could try and bring you back. Until now, little luck was shown. You were mostly removing yourself from conversations, making sure there was enough distance between sides.

You looked out of the window when you saw Obi-Wan in the reflection looking at you. You hold your walls up, using your force to shield you from his emotions and even your own. But lately, you felt like you shouldn't hide it anymore. You were finally getting the stain out of your brain. But you felt like you shouldn't. The parts where you were happy and had good times, made you probably a less good Sith. 

And like you had reminded Obi Wan, but also yourself, you liked being on the Dark Side. Obi Wan looked away and sighed. You didn't feel guilt for ignoring him, but it felt like you did own him an apology. 

"I'm sorry." You mumbled silently, still looking at your own reflection. Obi Wan turned towards you. "What? I didn't understand." He asked you, it was true, he only heard you partly. You took of your hood, so he could look at your face, and turned around to actually face him.

"I'm sorry Obi-Wan." you said a bit louder this time, before Obi-Wan could speak up, you continued, "I'm sorry for the things I've done, I can't take them back. I am fully aware of that. And if I'm being honest I honestly don't want to take them back." 

Obi-Wan stood up, to sit on his knees in front of you, taking hold of your hand. Giving it a small squeeze, telling you to go on. You took his hand in yours, "You wanted to know what happened right? What I just saw?" He only nodded at you.

"I can't exactly tell, it is still missing a few pieces." you lie partly, "but I remember the few moment before my master erased my memories. He said it will take me to my full potential." 

"You already were on your full potential, he just made your mind a darker place, so you wouldn't feel sorry fro the things you did." You looked at him, brows furrowed while you felt kind of mad. "My mind was already a dark place Obi-Wan. He was right. I was just not fully there."

"Y/N, are you hearing yourself?" He stood up, not believing what you just had said. You were finally becoming your old self and just now, you made a whole new turn. 

"Of course I'm hearing myself Kenobi. I also remember you running from me, just like a shady bee." You snapped at him, he didn't seem to accept your nature, and you didn't really bother getting into another argument with him. "Look, we are arriving at Geonosis. I'll cover for you so you can return safely, but we don't have to be in each others precense again. Alright?"

Obi-Wan looked to see, that you were indeed entering Geonosis. But he couldn't leave you, not now. Not when he was so close.