Lyla!

Deja Vu

I pushed him off me,
"No Noel, you don't get to just hug me and expect it to all go away!" I cried
"I know, I'm sorry" he said looking down at the ground.
"I think we should just take a break" I reasoned
"I don't want a break Lyla, I want you" he begged holding my hands.
I was shaking.
"You've betrayed me and you've betrayed our children and I need time to learn to trust you again" I explained.
Noel sunk to the ground hugging my legs.
"Please Lyla" he cried.
Liam stepped in and said,
"C'mon man, leave her alone, you're embarrassing yourself"
Noel let go of my legs and allowed me to step back into the room and close the door behind me. I leant against the door and sunk to my knees. On the other side Noel did the same.

I spent the night crying, I cried myself to sleep. I was insanely grateful for Liam's help in giving me somewhere to stay but I didn't want to stay here for long. It was unfair on Noel and it was unfair on Liam. The only other person in London who I could stay with I hadn't spoken to in a long while. I picked up the phone and dialed his number.

"Hi, it's Lyla" I chirped down the phone trying to sound as happy as possible.
"Fucking hell, I've not heard from you in ages!!" His Essex accent said down the phone.
"I've missed you too Damon" I laughed.
"So to what do I owe the pleasure??" Damon asked, knowing that I wasn't calling for a catch up.
"I'm sorry Damon but I don't have anyone else to call, me and Noel are split up for now and I need somewhere to stay, I wouldn't ask but I'm stuck at Liam's at the moment" I explained
"Don't stress Lyla, course you can stay at mine for a bit, it's been lonely here anyway" he laughed.
"Thank you Damon" I said relieved by his kindness.

Over the next few days I had left both Gallagher's and moved into Damon's with my children.
"Thank you for helping me Damon, I shouldn't be under your feet for too long, just while I try to sort things out with me and Noel" I explained
Damon shook his head while bringing my bags into his London home.
"Honestly Lyla, please don't worry about it, you and the kids can stay for as long as you need" he said.

There was a reason I'd stayed away from Damon. I felt something with him similar to how I felt when I first met Noel, the way his blue eyes sparkled in the light, the way his messy blonde hair fell over his eyes and his mouth broke into a cheeky smile when he laughed at his own jokes. He was beautiful to me but I couldn't sink down to Noel's level- I couldn't admit my feelings for Damon to myself, we were just good friends.

I sat on the floor rocking Jamie in her chair while Elton played with his toys. Damon was cooking in the kitchen while singing to himself. I got up and leant up the door and watched Damon. I cleared my throat to alert him to my presence.
"God, you scared me" Damon exclaimed
I laughed "nice song"
"Are you being serious??" Damon asked me
"Of course" I said.

I walked over to the red guitar that sat in the corner and began to play it. I didn't recognize the tune that I was playing to start with but as I continued to play I hummed along with it.
'Hey lyla' I whispered to myself with tears gathering in my eyes.
"I didn't know you could play" Damon said as he sat next to me.
"I haven't played for years" I laughed
"Did Noel teach you??" He asked
"No" I said, "I taught myself, I used to work at a cafe that had a guitar in the corner so on my breaks I used to sit and play it, that's how I met Noel" I explained to him.
Damon listened to me attentively, hanging of my every word.
"What song were you playing" he asked
"Lyla" I laughed
"Lyla??" He said
"Yeah Noel wrote it for me ages ago, when he loved me" I said, trying to turn my sadness into a joke.
"Can you play it for me?" Damon asked
I shrugged and said "I don't see why not, bit weird singing a song about myself though"

I strummed the guitar and started to play Noel's song. I only sang the first verse and chorus, mainly because I couldn't remember the rest. Damon looked at me smiling widely.
"And you can sing!" Damon exclaimed.
"yeah I can a bit" I laughed bashfully, my cheeks turned red at his compliment.

He stared into my eyes, alternating between them and my lips. I knew he wanted to kiss me but I felt like I was betraying Noel. He didn't care when he cheated on me. Is it really cheating if we're on a break? Should I feel guilty?? Fuck it. I thought to myself.

I smashed my lips against his, an electricity coursed through my veins as I did. His smell, his touch. He ran his hands down my body and kissed me passionately. He pulled away and said, "sorry, I had to do that"

That line. I'd heard it before. I immediately thought of my first kiss with Noel. I smiled at him but got up and said "it's late, I'm gonna go to bed."
He smiled back at me and nodded. A sea of guilt washed over me, I felt like I was drowning. I picked up Jamie and placed her into the cot that was next to my bed, then went back for Elton who I placed in the space in my bed next to me. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. I placed my head in my hands and sobbed. My phone rang interrupting my break down. I flipped it open to see Noel's name lighting up my screen.

I accepted his call. "Hello?"