Amour [h.s]

☼ twenty two ☼

"Let's write a story, be in my book, you've got to join me on my page, at least take a look"

☼ ☼ ☼

Harry

Tonight we were playing the Stadthalle arena in Vienna, to over sixteen thousand people. We've played in much bigger venues, yet playing in countries in which I haven't visited for years, seems to raise my heart rate. I'd never let Amelie know. She gets a little kick out of knowing how nervous I truly get for shows.

And seeing that little fucking smirk on her lips, could lead to ungodly events.

I don't think she realises, just how much on an impact she has on me, physically and mentally. I need her like water. And I'm so damned thirsty.

I wouldn't want to ever imagine a world without her in it.

She's everything I could've ever wished for.

But she's not mine.

Not yet.

Her love and trust is not just thrown around like a toy. It's weeks and months of proving that I am capable of being on the receiving end.

I have so much to give, but she's not ready to return. Even if it took years, I wait. I'd wait for her. But it is her. Amelie is it. I fear my heart would only plummet at her rejection.

"Have you seen Madeline? She needs to eat" Georgie's authoritative voice snaps me out of my loved up paradise of Amelie.

"She was with Milo I think, I can go and find her" I offer, knowing she was more than happy playing with Milo in my dressing room.

"That would be perfect, I need to just-" She trails off, holding her phone up to me, signalling she needs to phone someone. She was always so busy, I never understood how she got it all done, and whilst parenting two little monsters.

I'm only a few doors down from my dressing room, and the door is open, as Madeline is alone with Milo. Amelie had a zoom call with a lawyer about the divorce, so I was on baby duty. I was a little apprehensive when Madeline suggested that she played with Milo by herself, but she was old enough to know when to call for help, and having a little sister at home, definitely gave her some points.

I go to open my mouth and call out for her, but then I catch sight of her laying on her front on the floor, Milo also sprawled out in front of her.

"-but that was after Saffie was born. Before mummy met Steven, she was married to my daddy" she says to the baby, bouncing a little toy lion on front of his face. I stay leaning against the door frame, intrigued to see where this was going.

"My daddy is called Joey, and I don't see him anymore, he wasn't very nice to me and mummy, he would shout a lot and he used to break my toys. My mummy said that your daddy isn't very nice either, that's why you live on a bus now, and that's why your mummy is sad a lot."