Amour [h.s]

☼ thirty seven ☼

"Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you and I'll stay there as long as you let me"

☼ ☼ ☼

Amelie

I'm pregnant. With Harry's baby and I had never felt so many emotions at once.

When Harry first uttered the news, I was beyond thrilled, I was completely over the moon, riddled with excitement. I started sobbing right there and then, and nothing could burst my little bubble of happiness.

Apart from the anxiety that washed over me like a cruel wave, just hours after we found out the news. I was really doing this, and it's terrifying, anything could go wrong at any moment, I could let Harry down and it'd be my fault.

Miscarriages happen all the time.

I was pregnant and so much could go wrong.

I was really doing this and I was scared.

"Take a breath my love, I've never seen you so tense" Harry speaks calmly, his hands gently cupping my shoulders as I stare out the window, overthinking every tiny thing. How were we going to cope with two children?

How were we ever going to do this?

"We have so much to do- I'm so stressed Harry-" I begin venting everything out, though I'm not even sure I know how I'm feeling. I just know I'm incredibly overwhelmed.

"Hey, there's no rush, we've got nine months the enjoy this moment. I'm right here with you and we do it together" he reminds me. That's all I've heard him say for the past twenty four hours. That we're a family and we do things together.

"I need to make a doctors appointment- but I'm so scared Harry, what if they tell me something is wrong? What if-" I begin again.

"Baby, we could spend hours thinking about the what ifs, but for now, you've got a healthy pregnancy, we've got a little baby growing inside of you and we're happy" he says, his eyes softening as he speaks to me. Devoting all his attention on me.

I nod my head, knowing that I should be taking this in and enjoying the happy moment, but there's something in my mind that's stopping me from feeling true happiness.

"Are you happy? Are you excited?" I wonder, wanting to know his take on it.

"I've never been so happy Amelie, I'm so excited, I can't wait to raise a little baby with you- I'm absolutely over the moon, every second of the day I'm thanking my lucky stars, I don't even know if I can describe my happiness" he gushes, and I can tell every word he's saying is true. I just wish I could feel the same about it.

"But it's also a scary time and I can't imagine how worrying it is for you, I'm worried myself, but I have time to worry later- right now I just want to sit in our happiness for a little longer" he tells me, showing that despite how excited he's feeling, he is also feeling a sense of anxiety over it all. And I'm glad he's being open about it.