Amour [h.s]

☼ forty two ☼

"It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside"

☼ ☼ ☼

Thank you so so much for 100k, your love warms me every day <3

Harry

The winter came and went, bringing us into spring, one of my favourite times of year. My birthday also came and went, making me twenty nine years old. Amelie's birthday also came past, and she was grateful to celebrate it whilst she wasn't heavily pregnant.

Amelie is now five months pregnant with our little amores. Our precious time keeps slipping away from us. We had a scan a month or two ago, when they finally gave us the good news we wanted, our little baby A had stabilised themselves a bit more, though they were still smaller than expected, they had hope that both of our babies would make it to the end of her pregnancy.

And that was music to our ears.

We had decided against finding out the gender, just because Amelie wanted the element of surprise. But I was still convinced we were having a little girl. Perhaps not two girls, but I knew we were having at least one.

I needed my little girl.

I couldn't describe the excitement I felt when I pictured holding my little girl, dressing her in the sweetest clothes. She'd be the biggest daddies girl whilst our little boy would be a mumma's boy, of course.

Amelie was still convinced it was two boys. She claimed she knew her body and she knew what she was growing.

"Dada!" Milo shouts for me. He started saying dada not long after his first birthday. Along with his first steps. Amelie and I cried for hours on end after he took his first wobbly step, she filmed about a million videos of him and she often finds herself watching them over and over, sobbing every time.

She's gotten incredibly emotional during the second trimester, and her anxiety is at an all time high. She barely leaves the house anymore, unless it's for appointments.

She doesn't wants anyone knowing about her pregnancy, she's scared she's going to jinx it. It's only our close family and friends that know. She refuses to even try to contact her family again- just incase they leak something to the media.

She tells me that she just doesn't want her privacy invaded but I think it's more than that.

I don't think she wants Leo finding out.

Not that he would be able to do anything, but I know she's been having a lot of nightmares revolving around him recently.

And it all boils down to the fear of having her babies taken from her. Despite the fact that she hasn't grown a huge attachment to them. And I know exactly why.