Amour [h.s]

☼ forty five ☼

"We'll go and see the man on the moon, my girl we've got nothing to lose"

☼ ☼ ☼

Trigger warning: Baby loss and everything that comes with it <3

This chapter is dedicated to all of the babies too precious for this Earth.

One in four families experience baby loss either during pregnancy or at birth, a shocking yet real statistic. Many families have had to experience something so heartbreaking and upsetting. Amelie and Harry are no different.

I want to make you aware of just how real baby loss is, and how it can truly affect anyone. Death doesn't discriminate.

This chapter is very raw and very real. I hope I've given it the justice it deserves.

In loving memory of baby C and baby H. If love could have saved you, you would've lived forever <3

I'm sorry <3

Harry

It's been nearly twenty two hours since Amelie and I were told Amora didn't stand a chance at life.

We were told she'd never grow up.

She had a bleed on the brain and she was dying.

There was no way to put it nicely.

I hadn't expected our time together to be so short. I hadn't expected to love her for only a day or two. But my god am I lucky that I get to be the one to love her. I get to be her dad and that alone is the greatest feeling.

But huge sadness comes along with it.

Amelie and I held her yesterday for the first time. And though it was the most special moment, there was a terrifying pressure of holding a two pound baby. I had never felt fear like it. I was worried my huge hands would crush her like a bug. But she seemed to just slot so perfectly into them.

Amelie and I hardly put her down since. Every opportunity we get to hold her, we do. Taking it in turns to be the one who will keep her warm and safe for the short time she's allowed out before she has to be restricted to her plastic home.

Amelie is the most doting mother. When she's not caressing Amora's dark hair, or whispering sweet nothings into her tiny ear, she's admiring our little boy.

Bodhi.

We had named him Bodhi.

Amelie chose it, she had been searching the internet all night for the perfect name for our son. And at two in the morning, she startled me awake from a beautiful dream I was having about Amora growing up with her brothers, telling me she had found a name that was just right.