Amour [h.s]

☼ forty six ☼

"You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway, you're half the world away"

☼ ☼ ☼

Trigger warning: grief

I just want to say a HUGE thank you for all of your kindness on the last three chapters, the response has been so positive. I just want to apologise for all the heartache I put you through, I promise they get their happy ending :)

Thank you for being patient with me <3

Amelie

It's been twenty four gruelling hours since I watched Amora's chest rise and fall for the last time. It's been twenty four hours since I saw her perfect little face. A mini version of me.

And it's been twenty four hours since I've seen Harry.

He left me in the hallway with a broken heart and a shattered soul.

It wasn't a nice feeling, watching him walk away.

I spent the next few hours sat right at Bodhi's bedside, telling him stories about his big brother and how beautiful his sister was. I steered clear from the topic of Harry, it felt too raw.

He left me and it broke my heart.

He hasn't returned to my side. He hasn't seen Bodhi in twenty four hours.

I phoned him this morning. He must've declined the call, or had his phone off. So I text him, asked how he was, told him I loved him and that I'd be waiting for him at Bodhi's bedside. He replied with a simple 'I'm fine'.

I sat and cried for at least two hours this morning, wishing that my life would mend itself and Harry would come running back to me, taking me in his arms as we get through this together. But he's not here. He's shut himself away and I'm having to do it alone.

All I've wanted since Amora died, is for someone to hold me. It got to a point yesterday evening when I asked one of Bodhi's nurses if she'll just hug me for a moment whilst I cry. Because no one else was going to do it.

After Harry had sent his frosty text this morning, I decided I couldn't cope with the pain of being alone and having to grieve alone anymore, so I had phoned Maggie. Telling her I needed her.

She came almost immediately, rushing to my aid and engulfing me in the worlds biggest hug. And it was just what I needed, though I feel it would've meant a lot more if it had been Harry.

Maggie sat with me, tending to my needs, carefully washing my hair and giving my body a bit of a wash. She helped me into a new pair of leggings and a fresh jumper, but I still felt just as dirty.

It was like I was an empty body. Maggie was lovingly caring for me, yet no one was home. I had been stripped of all emotion and I just felt empty. Lost. Hurt.