A Journey I'll Always Remember (Kili x Reader)

A Mended Heart

Stains of dried tears ran down my face, my eyes still puffy. I was far from Kili now but I told him I would be back, even though it feels we are worlds apart.

We were getting closer to the lake, where I'm guessing our King lies. So much death, in one day. 2 members of my family and my love, taken from me. Just like that. The dwarves were all miserable from the loss of their family members. They told me that Bilbo and Dwalin were safe they were just with Thorin.

We finally reached the lake and by a rock laid Thorin. I brought a hand up to my mouth and sobbed, I honestly felt like I was seconds from throwing up. Dwalin was stood behind Bilbo with his eyebrows drawn together and Bilbo was on the floor by Thorin.

The closer I got I could see the tears in Bilbo's eyes but he was holding them back. "Father." I said, feeling nothing but numbness. Bilbo looked up at me. "(Y/N)." Bilbo stood up and looked at me, I know what that look said. "He's gone, Father. He's gone." I ran into Bilbo's arms and cried. Bilbo rubbed my back and he made a little noise. "I'm sorry, Father. I know what he meant to you." I pulled away, Bilbo looked down at Thorin.
"Yeah," he pulled away and sniffled

"He...he was my best friend." I grabbed his arm. "Father." He fought the words out. "Yes, (Y/N)?"
I fought threw the pain and gave a weak smile. "I think we both know he was much more than that."
Bilbo bit his bottom and it's slightly quivered.

"And I'm sorry about Kili, I truly am." Bilbo said. He placed a kiss on my head and pulled me in for another hug and I sobbed into his shoulder. "Its hurts father..." I sobbed with every bit of pain left in me "Its hurts so much. If this is love I do not want it. Take it from me," I sobbed "Please."

"I know (Y/N)," he swallowed "I know it hurts, dear." He cupped the back of my head and shh-ed me whilst crying himself. We stayed like that for a long time and everyone had tears in their eyes. I slowly pulled away and wiped the tears from my face.

I looked down and twisted with the ring on my ring finger. "What you got there lassie?" Bofur asked looking over shoulder. I paused before answering with a smile. "The future we wanted." The future we could have had.

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Everyone has had their moment with their king. I said my goodbye and watched as Nori, the last one to say his last words to Thorin, put Thorin's hand on his chest and closing his soulless eyes. I stood there staring at the floor. There is somewhere I need to be, as if something was calling me, pulling me.

I spun around and jogged away. "Where are you going, lass?" Bombur called behind me. "I'll be back." I mumbled. As much as it pained me to go back and see his lifeless body on the floor I just wanted to spend more time with him, just 5 more minutes. I was basically running until I slowed down. It suddenly hit me that there was no point rushing he couldn't go anywhere, and I think that's what hurt most.

I shivered as the cold winter air nipped at my nose. I was only wearing a skirt and tunic with a corset. My cloak fell off long ago during battle and I didn't want to risk it to get it back. My hands were white and my body was pale which was very contrasting to my face and my body had many bruises and wounds as well as my fresh swollen eye. My nose and cheeks were bright pink and my eyes had a small pink tint from the crying. A tear fell here and there but at this point I felt...empty. Heartbroken. Lonely.

As I turned the final corner I was tied up my hair until I stopped. My hands stopped mid-way whilst making the ponytail. I gasped and dropped my band, my hair flowed down my face and onto my shoulders, eventually falling down to my elbows. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A tear fell from my eye, again. My bottom lip quivered.