Bonding and Bite Marks

Resentment

Lin was absolutely devoted over the next ten days. John's heat lasted longer than expected, and more than once, he'd wondered if he should take John to the hospital. He'd been absolutely delirious for four days. His desire had been unquenchable. Lin had lost count of the positions he'd used on his supple body, teasing him to mind blowing orgasms each time. Sometimes he'd knotted and sometimes he'd pulled out. He was unwilling to push John's smaller body too hard. Knotting was exhausting. For both of them. Lin would have to hold himself carefully so as not to squash John or tug at his trapped entrance. John had to deal with the added stimulation of the knot in his passage and the pain each time Lin moved while trapped inside.

As John had started to regain his senses, the awkwardness returned. By the eighth day, John had started to turn away from his touches and almost flinched at their closeness. He was resentful as Lin coaxed him into kisses and gentle touches. The bonding mark forced his compliance. His body was flooded with Lin's pheromones, coaxing his obedience. John hated it. He hated that it felt good to please Lin. Despite feeling frustrated, Lin didn't push him. He'd expected it to be like this for a while. A long while. It was soon the final day. Day ten. Lin knew it was the last day. He could smell it. The slick had almost dried up.

"Just relax." Lin spoke softly as he rubbed his large hands over John's bare spine, pressing and squeezing the milky skin. He was soft and perfect beneath his fingertips. John moaned and whined, despite feeling stiff. Lin's fingers worked magic on his tight, sore, exhausted muscles. Lin worked his whole body, making sure he was left tingling and squirming. John's head was resting on folded arms, tired eyes closed as he lay face down on the bed with Lin straddling his hips. Lin was fully dressed. John was more comfortable that way. "I promised you yesterday, as long as your fever is broken and you're not suffering, I won't touch you," Lin murmured in an assuring tone. That still didn't help John relax.

"When can I leave?" John asked quietly, worried that Lin might refuse his request. That he'd take him somewhere by force. It was within his rights as an alpha. He'd claimed him. Mated him. It was almost expected that John would cohabitate with his alpha now. It was rare for mated couples to live apart. Lin couldn't see John's face while he had it buried in the blankets. He almost shrugged as he stroked up to John's shoulders and massaged the tight muscles. He felt him melting beneath his touch, especially as he gripped around the barely healing bonding mark. John almost moaned at the pleasure that brought. He hated it. His body betrayed him at every turn. He wanted to shrug Lin off. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to hate him. He couldn't do that though. Each time the urge rose, it was quashed by a prickling wave of warmth and pleasure. The stirring of affection programmed into mated omegas.

"Tomorrow should be fine. Your heat has almost fully receded." Lin was almost saddened at the thought. John's scent was far less obvious now. He actually had to lean in to John's scent glands to get a good fix on it. The soiled bedding was beginning to smell stale and unsatisfying, and his own sexual urges retreated as John's receded. John nodded silently, biting his lip in despair as he thought of the life waiting outside. He already knew where he was going first. "Go and shower," Lin murmured in his ear, pressing a small kiss to the back of his naked shoulder. John flinched. He tried to ignore the hint of hurt he caught in Lin's scent as he shuffled away.

John nodded silently, refusing to look at Lin as he rolled to unsteady legs. He'd barely eaten in ten days, and only managed to struggle down the water he'd needed. He'd also mostly been lying on the bed, his legs twisted and stretched at various angles that his muddled mind could only just remember. Five of those days were a blur of frozen images, searing pleasure, and blackness. He remembered the way Lin had gazed down at him with heated eyes. The wanton cries that had escaped his own lips. Lin's hands bending him into different positions. The fullness of Lin's shaft moving within him. He shuddered in disgust as he forced himself to stumble into the small bathroom. He pulled the shower curtain across, but didn't shut the door. Lin didn't like it when he showered with the door shut.

John grabbed a sponge and the shower gel. His mind was hazy as he stood beneath the hot spray. He gritted his teeth as he started rubbing his sweat stained skin. He felt dirty. Unclean. Defiled. Disgusting. He was rubbing the sponge roughly. He sobbed quietly as he left angry red rashes on his milky skin. His vision was blurred with tears, but he still kept rubbing. Dragging the sponge up and down his marked thighs. He looked like some sort of desperate prostitute with the amount of finger bruises and red kisses on his pale skin. He hissed and bit his teeth together harder. His skin burned as he dragged the sponge across it roughly. He hated it. He hated all of it. The marks. The pain. The lingering pleasure. He heard a sigh as the curtain scraped open and a strong hand eased the sponge from his shaking hand. His dark eyes were softer than usual, almost sad, as he added more gel and squeezed a thick lather to the surface.

"Don't hurt yourself..." Lin's voice was soft and somewhat sad as he chided him. John turned away and squeezed his eyes shut. He almost looked afraid as he jerked away from the gentle touches that tried to soothe and examine his sore skin. Lin made no comment as he cried. No reproach. No justification. No apology. He ignored the choked sobs and sniffles as he gently washed John's vulnerable body. John despised the gentle touches and affectionate caresses. Why does he have to pretend? I'm nothing more than an omega! His own personal sex slave! He felt bitter as he absently reached up to claw at the bonding mark. He wished that he could dig his nails in and scratch it off. His nails raked the tender skin, almost reopening the fresh marks. The crescent from Lin's teeth had barely even started to close. "John. Don't." Lin's tone was harsh and demanding as he gripped John's wrist. The grip was tight. Painful. John obeyed with a wince and lowered his shaking hand. Lin paused, his grip softening in apology.

Lin continued his gentle work, tenderly cleaning every crevice of his mate's body. He placed gentle kisses on John's shoulder, nuzzling the bonding mark as he cleaned and soothed. He was scenting John subconsciously, trying to lavish him with more of his scent. He needed to make it clear to others that this omega was spoken for. John flinched each time they touched, but he couldn't stop him. His omega senses nudged him towards obedience. Lin washed his hair slowly. He knew John quietly enjoyed that part. It wasn't the first shower they'd taken over the past few days. He could still remember the feeling of holding John against the tiles as he'd writhed and bucked against him. He likely still had the deep nail tracks on his back and shoulders. John had cried for him so beautifully. Begged him to mate him. To breed him. He'd pulled him close, kissed his lips, and moaned his name like the sweetest hymn.

Upon returning to the office, John was unsurprised to find fresh sheets on the bed. Lin had been doing this for the past week or so. The difference now was that John could change his own clothes, and could have changed the bedding himself, too. The stomach cramps were gone. The unbearable fever was gone. John was almost back to normal. Except I'll never be normal again. He bitterly wondered how he was going to break the news to his family. It wasn't that it was shameful to be an omega, but they'd be horrified to find he'd suffered so much alone. A large part of him desperately wanted his sister. She'd always taken care of him. She'd often teased him for being a soft beta while she was the dominant alpha of the family. Being a traditional family, he knew his parents had secretly hoped their son would be an alpha. This will be quite a shock...

"I'll go to my office. Call me if you need anything." Lin politely headed for the door as John slipped into a fresh set of pyjamas. John nodded silently, not looking over his shoulder as Lin left. Suddenly, he could breathe again. Then he couldn't. The relief of being free of his alpha was overridden by a sheer sense of vulnerability. He'd been in Lin's presence constantly since their mating. He felt lost without him. Lin had taken care of him tirelessly for over a week. He'd fed him. Bathed him. Seen to his physical needs. He'd even been discreet and cleaned up afterwards to ensure he never felt ashamed or embarrassed about anything that had happened.

John bit his quivering lip as bitterness filled his chest. Bitterness at having choice and freedom ripped away from him. Of becoming an omega when he'd been a beta his whole life. His pleas and refusals had been ignored. He'd been violated. Claimed. He felt more disgusted at the fact that his omega side felt so safe and contented in Lin's presence. He wouldn't have to feel this way if Lin had respected his wishes. He could feel a permanent tug on his heartstrings now. That permanent connection to Lin and his mood. The automatic satisfaction and pleasure he felt when he knew Lin was pleased. He hated it. He climbed into the bed and turned on his side stubbornly, closing his eyes against the urgent need to call Lin. There's only one person I need. John pressed his hands together and closed his eyes tightly, hoping he hadn't been forsaken.