Bonding and Bite Marks

Heartbreak

John stirred, humming softly as he turned his head. It was dark and quiet, not a sound in the street outside. As he woke up, he became aware of various small aches. His shoulders. His hips and thighs. A soreness around his wrists. He blinked his eyes open, still disoriented, though he knew he was in his own room. His brow pinched as he tried to move his hands and found them trapped. He started to panic, tugging and pulling the bindings until he caught Lin's scent mingled with his own and remembered. His cheeks flushed and his chest fluttered. He didn't know what had come over him the night before, but his body was content and sated as he lay naked beside his alpha. A small smile crossed his lips as he looked at Lin's sleeping face.

He looked so much younger when he was sleeping. He had none of the care or worry lines that were just barely beginning to pinch his eyes and brow. Soft locks fell away from his face, and John had to admit there was something beautiful about him. His brows arched gently, long eyelashes caressing his high cheekbones. His skin was pale and flawless, flowing over the gently sloping muscles beneath. John let his fingers brush his alpha's chest, watching him stir ever so slightly. A small whisper escaped his lips before his hand twitched on John's hip.

"Gene..." Lin breathed, humming and pinching his brow. John drew back as if he'd been slapped. A sharp ache ran through his chest, and he could feel tears filling his eyes. He held his breath and closed his eyes tightly. As Lin rolled restlessly onto his back, John clapped his hands over his mouth, determined not to wake him if he could help it. I can't-h-he-we-John couldn't think straight. He was heartbroken. I shouldn't have gotten so attached...I knew I was just a replacement...Stupid! He held his breath as a sob rose in his throat, desperately clawing its way higher. He quickly turned over to muffle it in the pillow, pressing his face harder as his eyes burned.

He tried to be quiet as he sniffled into the pillow. He could feel his shoulders quaking and huddled further away from Lin so he didn't wake him. Small cries wracked his body, threatening to come out as loud, mewling sobs. He swallowed and choked them down, throat aching as he pressed harder into the pillow. It was hard to breathe, and he was afraid of the sounds that would come out if he left the safety of the pillow. The thick material muffled his sobs and quieted his heaving breaths. He didn't want to wake Lin. If he work Lin, he'd ask what happened. He couldn't face it. He could risk telling Lin and having his fears confirmed. I'm just a replacement for the one he lost!

Time passed as he cried. The next time he opened his eyes, it was daylight, and he was tucked securely in Lin's arms, cradled against his naked chest. His spiced chocolate scent was wrapping around him in a comforting haze, a large hand stroking softly through his hair. Lin was surprised as he felt him stiffen in his embrace. He looked down, feeling troubled as he averted his bloodshot eyes. The night before, it had all seemed to go so well. Now it felt like a chasm had opened between them. Did I go too far? Was this not what he wanted last night? But...why didn't he say anything?

"John...what's wrong?" He knew something had upset him. Upon waking, he's heard small sniffles from a stuffy nose as John lay face down on the pillow. He'd gently turned him over to find him sleeping, but tears still stained his cheeks and his breaths still shuddered. His own heart ached as he'd gathered him against his chest, doing his best to soothe whatever pain he'd caused. John forced a smile as he pushed himself up and massaged his now untied wrists. They were still a little red from his earlier struggles, though Lin assumed it had happened the night before during their coupling. The skin was pink and tender, not quite rubbed raw. It would likely heal within the day.

"Nothing's wrong," John insisted in a forcefully cheerful voice, though the red puffiness of his eyes betrayed him. Why won't he talk to me? Lin's chest pinched as he watched John sheepishly stumble out of bed, saying that he needed the bathroom. It didn't take long for the sound of the shower to reach his ears, a sure sign John was taking some time to compose himself. Lin pushed down the growing ache as he went to investigate John's small kitchen. He frowned as he investigated the small space. The cupboards were almost empty. The fridge was no better.