Under That Niqab

38. Abyss

A/N: Ignore the mistakes if any because I wrote this chapter in a hurry. Shower me with your votes and comments!!
TW: Mention of blood and disturbing events.

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Chaos

If you would want one word to describe Haya's state of mind it would be pure utter chaos.

She was amidst a storm, a roaring one, ready to wash her existence away but a mere piece of wood she held in the hope to land back on the shore.

She saw that piece of wood sinking and she was drowning, drowning into the depth of waters which screamed her name calling to her pulling her inside, telling her to let go of that wood and throw herself into the abyss. She did.

She saw the log floating above her on the surface and drifting far away and the light dimmed until there was just pitch-black darkness.

It was beautiful having nothing to hold onto and getting lost in the moment felt so tranquillising. She felt free of her body weight too, her arms left to wander away from her figure, floating.

Then there was a sudden jerk in her body. Has she finally landed at the bottom of the sea? When she tried to let out a breath, the last one, her throat hooked it inside her lungs. She was unable to let that breath out nor take some in. The whole system seemed locked.

She gasped fighting to release that last breath until she was thrown out into reality.

Each string in her brain itched causing her to desperately want to end herself. She would have if she could, a long way back. But she was a fighter. Was.

Unable to get up or even move from the position she was lying on the wearisome hospital bed with that irritating smell reaching her senses and making her want to puke. Only one thought swivelled in her mind a thousand times. Why didn't she die? After all that she had been through it was obvious anyone would.

Dying is an easy solution, isn't it?

There was no one and nothing to keep her sane, to hold her by her roots, why would she want to live? After being mocked for her existence since birth why would she want to exist?

She had faith in her lord though, a lot for a matter of fact. Even on her worst days when she wouldn't feel like praying instead complaining, crying, wailing and abandoning everything, she didn't. She sat still on a prayer mat letting her thoughts travel every corner of her thinking tendencies, she allowed those thoughts to consume her.

But right now, it was like all thoughts were howling upon her, haunting and taunting her.

Heavy breaths left her mouth as she tried to fill air into her lungs greedily.

"Haya!" Rabi shouted approaching to hold her.

"Get out" Haya screamed at Rabi who was startled by her outburst as soon as she opened her eyes.

"Doctor!" Rabi shouted facing the door, tightly holding onto Haya who was shaking all the wires from her body to get rid of the itching. "Stay still. I'll call the doctor, stay still. Please." Rabi pleaded whilst pinning down Haya's both hands with full force.

Haya stopped squirming and looked at Rabi, more like glared at her with a bored look etched on her features but she was not moving, Rabi sighed and ran out of the room to get someone to check up on her.

Now that she was gone, Haya looked at those needles stuck inside her hands. Some device was clutched on her finger and white bandages were tied on her feet here and there. It was disgusting to watch them.