Under That Niqab

46. Precious

"Just strike the conversation and see where it goes," Shavez said with pleaded eyes directed to Rabi who had a bored look on her face.

"Don't be childish Shavez" Zaki meddled in, "Haya is very sensitive right now and you of all people, need to understand that she got out of a very toxic relationship not long ago"

"I know that okay?! But I can't see her like this anymore"

"That's exactly it. You didn't even see her" Rabi said. "I understand that you harbor affection for her since a very long time. I do. But.." Rabi looked into Shavez's eager eyes not wanting to disappoint him but she had to make him aware of what he was wanting and what are its consequences. "But you have never seen Haya, you are in love with the idea of her but not her, Not her."

Shavez shook his head, not denying what Rabi was saying but correcting her soon after,

"You are wrong. I have spent more time with her in my memories than with her."

"I get what you are trying to tell me but, it's Haya we are talking about. Haya. And you have no idea of what I feel for her, I never asked anyone what she looks like, I never cared about that but just her being, her self, her everything, inspires me, tells me that she is the most beautiful inside out person and there is no one I can give that place to. You telling me that I won't like her for her face looks childish to me right now" He scoffed at the end shaking his head lowly. While the other two were just gaping at him rant and admiring how much he is into Haya for talking about her that way.

"You will call me selfish if I tell you that I was so damn happy that Haya was back, and was divorced. It was as if the universe wanted us to be together, she went through everything to get back to me, don't get me wrong, never in my life would I want Haya to go through all those things and it kills me to be the reason. As much as that feels itchy I still want her close to me."

"The reason for those wounds is me and so, I want to be the one to heal her. I want her to be mine just as I have always been hers."

It was after talking his heart out that he took in the breath rushed, filling his lungs. He didn't know what possessed him to rant because he is not the man who lets loose of his emotions but when Rabi questioned his affection, that maybe acted as a trigger to all the pent-up words that were so keen, on the tip of his tongue to come out.

Even after all that he had said, words were still not enough, words are never enough. He wanted to say much more about his feelings, he wanted to let it all out, the casketed thoughts.

There was no voice from either of the two to whom he just said his whole life story, they both were just staring at him and he raised his eyebrows making an annoyed face and mumbling a "what?"

"You had that held in for long, didn't you?" Zaki remarked.

Shavez didn't reply anything, slightly feeling embarrassed and regretting that he shouldn't have said all that because Rabi still didn't utter a word, she was seated wordlessly which was making Shavez more nervous than he already was. Her face had no expressions to predict what was going on in her mind, she was taken aback, and that was given.

"Rabi" he called to which she tilted his head to make eye contact with him, "Tell me what are you thinking about, ask me anything you want to, I'll be honest," he said and he meant it.

"I don't know," she said. "It's not that I don't trust you, but this is a very sensitive topic for Haya. She is traumatized for life, and being you the reason Adnan used time and again she will never agree, I mean that is not even a question I can ask her"

"I know, but trust me you just have to convince her. I'll take care of her, utmost care. I will make her forget everything she's gone through"

Anything can be said, but seldom from those can be acted upon.