Under That Niqab

51. Deliberation

They were enveloped in a serene silence, a natural comfort permeating the space between them. The air was never heavy with awkwardness or unease anyway, just a calm understanding.

Shavez leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes and taking in the moment around him. He let out a deep breath, his head resting on the back of the couch, and stretching his limbs. Haya watched him from across the room, noting how he looked relaxed for a moment before the lines on his forehead deepened, revealing that he was deep in thought. She couldn't comprehend what he was thinking about, but she could tell it was related to the recent events that had transpired.

As she observed him, her thoughts drifted back to the conversation they had just had moments ago. She couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind and if there was anything she said that put him in this cognitive state.

"Here" Haya's presence caught Shavez off guard, as he had assumed she already left. He was even more surprised when she offered him a glass of water, which she was holding in her own hands without a tray. He extended his hand to take the glass from her but ceased his actions abruptly,

"Did you drink?" He asked, still without touching the glass.

She nodded, giving him a subtle signal to take the glass. He looked at her hands the fingers to be precise, heart palpitating in his chest adding a rapid rhythm, though the urge to brush his fingers against her was strong but he valued her too much to act on it.

He held it by the brim carefully sliding the glass into his hand and gulped the water down. Haya appeared unaware of what had just happened or...
maybe she was and it wasn't a big deal, was she trusting me enough? no, it's too soon for it.

Shavez could not predict and conclude any of his statements.

"What- what are you thinking about?" She asked, moving across from him to sit on the sofa.

"Nothing, in particular," He shook his head.

"Is it something I said, should I...Should I not have said anything?" Haya's voice was laced with concern and a tinge of anxiety as she questioned Shavez. She seemed genuinely worried that her words might have caused discomfort or offense to him.

She berated herself for her foolishness. Who talks about their exes in front..he was soon to be her husband after all.

"No", he stopped her train of thought, "Why would I mind you saying anything at all? I told you already you can talk to me about anything, literally" He said sitting straight.

"But- I saw you, you were frowning"

"I was?" He made an amused expression, she sure was observant."Maybe but I think I would offend you in some way if I tell you what I was thinking about"

"You can tell me too," She said averting her gaze.

"I-I just feel very contrary to how you are feeling, making me feel guilty in some way. You mentioned being unsure about everything in your life right now, whereas I feel a sense of tranquility and fulfillment. It's fascinating how two people can experience the same situations and events in completely different ways."

The room was filled with a heavy silence as he waited for Haya's response, unsure of what to say next.

"If you think- I am the one who should not be feeling this you might be true. My feelings are wrong, I should not-I should leave the past to it" She uttered.

"There is no right or wrong about feelings, Haya. You feel what you feel, they are not under our control, I know this from personal experience."

Haya's voice trailed off as she spoke, her words barely audible as she struggled to express her emotions. Her eyes were downcast, avoiding Shavez's gaze as if she was ashamed of what she was feeling. She fidgeted with her hands, twisting her fingers together, unable to find the right words to articulate her thoughts. After a few moments of silence, she let out a small sigh and said, "It's just that I...I never thought that I'll end up separating. I'm sorry, don't mind me blabbering."