wait// joshler

12

word count: 388

"so," he puts a fry in his mouth.

"so?"

"why'd you punch him. the kid?"

"this.. lunch was a trap, wasn't it?"

"pretty much, yeah."

"damn you, dad."

he laughs, "answer the question, tyler."

he's serious now, he really does want to know.

"he.. crushed my headphones. well his backpack did, and i couldn't handle it. everything was hazy and next thing i know it he's on the ground under my weight, his nose is bleeding and i'm being yanked off him by the principal. i'm being led to the office, him keeping as much distant from me as possible. im screaming and yelling sorry to him in my head. we're sitting waiting for you, and his parents to arrive. i've told him sorry like eight times and he's ignoring me. and then he left, you came."

the rush of the words and the flow of my heart make for tremendous guilt that i've been stuffing down my throat is all falling apart.

"son, have you glanced at your hands since then?"

i look at my hands, my knuckles have scabs healing over them, the broken and battered skin that had given up is being replaced by new skin, that doesn't know of the others suicide. 

i take a sip of my milkshake. i feel like i'm drowning in my own guilt. my own regret. as i swallow the vanilla milkshake, i hope these feelings go down with it.

they don't. 

"im going to take it with that you haven't."

i shake my head. 

"you've been.. out of your mind.. mentally."

i nod.

"i've noticed. it's partially my fault."

"da-."

"don't start tyler. i'm not the best for you. i haven't taken you away from this awful environment i've placed you in. you live in a trailer with two people who hate each other. that's not a good environment for a growing mind. i know. i'm trying to get you out. i'm sorry, tyler."

dad throws another fry in his mouth. 

"me and your mom..."

"are divorcing," i try.

"how did you-."

"it would've been a matter of time."

"well, i'm divorcing her. she doesn't want to hear it. she keeps trying to use her cancer against me, and say what's better for you. it's better for you if you're in a healthy environment."

i nod.

"so enjoy your milkshake and your fries. this is your last meal with married parents, ty-guy."

i put a fry in my mouth. 

a/n: 

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YOU HUMANS

i may or may not have a surprise later in store for you all <3