wait// joshler

40

word count: 482

he still sits next to me. my head swirling and spinning off my shoulders.

ive been thinking too much. 

help me. 

"ihaveacrushonyouandiwouldreallylikeforyoutobemyboyfriend," i say quickly.

"i only understood about half of that."

i take a few deep breaths in.

"joshua?"

his smile is so genuine it makes me want to cry. 

"yeah?"

"i like you."

his smile drops for a second. and i knew what was to come next.

" i like you too."

"no. no no. i knew this was-."

"tyler, did you hear me?"

"yeah i did."

"no. i said i like you."

"wait really?" i ask him.

"yeah. a lot actually. you're so nice and cute. you make me want to be a better person."

"you're already a great person."

"if you so say."

"okay... so like. w-would you. i don't know. wanna be my boyfriend?"

"do you think we're moving too fast?"

"i mean...  not really."

"okay."

"so.."

"tyler, do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

i nod, "i'd love to be your boyfriend, joshua."

he reaches his hand to my own.

"you wanna know something i think that's funny?"

"hm?"

"we're here because i was clumsy and ran into you and you punched me in the face."

"shut up," i joke.

"hm. nah, i think i like where i am right now. and i will not INDEED shut up."

"you're funny."

"thank you, i try, tyler."

"jesus."

"what?"

"i have to figure out how to come out to my family."

"how big is your family?"

"okay, well... i only have my dad, aunt, uncle and cousins."

"just one?"

"yeah, my aunt is my moms sister. my dads family kinda disowned him when i was born. never met them. and my grandma died when my mom was twenty from cancer."

"oh shit."

"yeah. i know my aunt and uncle will accept me cause my one cousin is aroace and non-binary and also my other cousin is trans and a lesbian. and then my dad is like the most accepting person i've ever met. so that's a no brainer. but like.. how do you just.. come out? do you bring a pride cake and be like hello. i love men. here's a cake. yaaay."

"that's exactly how you do it, t."

"did you call me t?"

"trying to think of a relationship type nickname for you."

"i'm sticking with joshua for you."

"hm. i guess that has kind of become my nickname, huh?"

"yeah."

"it's cute."

"thank you."

"of course."

"anyways, how are you gonna come out to your parents?"

"i'm already out to them."

"wait really?"

"yeah they already know i'm pansexual."

"oh. how did you come out?"

"same way you're suggesting. get a pride cake, buy or make one. i bought one. and then write what you are, i wrote im pansexual, and then have them gather around and tell them."

"did everyone accept you?"

"well.. my dads family also disowned him and me. but my moms family didn't, so mostly everyone."

"im sorry." 

"this was like five years ago. it's not a big deal."

"so.. do you wanna.. i don't know. help me.. go to the store?"

"sure boyfriend!"

god, the way he says boyfriend. it makes my whole body tingle and spark. 

he makes me, so happy.

a/n: bf and bf on the first of june 

gayyyy

also 21 chapters left if you count the epilogue