wait// joshler

15

word count: 455

i left my headphones in dad's truck this morning. so i'm mentally blocking the whole world out. joshua walks up to me as i wait for school to start. 

"you didn't answer me. you left me on read," i can tell he's pissed off.  

"i have too much going on to truly care about school," i reply, like an asshole.

"dude. it's my grade too. you're so selfish."

he storms off in the opposite direction. 

-

mom picks me up from school, and because she's my mom i can't make her not take me home. so i'm sitting in the back of her car. in the passengers' seat is my aunt marie, mom's sister. 

"i got him, marie," mom says as i get in the car, probably referring to dad. 

"hey tj."

"hey aunt marie."

i look out the window and watch the world passing me by. 

"he looks awful."

"his dad is an asshole, chris gave me this bruise. he's a spitting image of his father. what do you expect?"

"tj is a nice boy, kelly."

"he's quiet... he's never gonna get a woman like that."

"he's... well... ellie said that the quiet boys are queer."

"don't you mean gay?"

i panic, i know queer and gay are different. but i am the latter, i figured that out in fifth grade when i thought of kissing a guy in my class named jazz, and ive also never had a crush on a girl, it didn't take much to figure out what i wanted in a relationship. 

"the twins say that gay is like lesbian but for guys and queer is the general term like saying you're lgbt+ but nonspecific."

"they're thirteen.. why do they know this shit?"

"jayiden, he's aroace and nonbinary, and ellie is trans and she's a lesbian. they're both apart of the community."

"it's not a community, they're mentally ill, damaged kids."

"don't talk about my kids like that, kelly. i'm literally bisexual."

"they're still mentally ill. you're an adult it's different."

"i don't think-."

"i mean they're trannies, faggots, and other stupid shit like that."

you can't use those words.

"you can't use those words," aunt marie says.

mom quiets herself. but i know she'll say something you shouldn't say to your child when aunt marie leaves. 

-

"bye sis," mom smiles, dropping aunt marie off at her house.

"bye, kels."

mom reaches for the rear view mirror, moving so fast and aggressive like she wants to rip it off its' hinges. she tilts it down so that she's staring down my eyes. the venom in her eyes makes me want to vomit.

"if you are ever... apart of that disgust of humans... you. oh god. you don't know what's gonna come for you. understand?"

i nod slowly. 

"good," she yanks it back up, and speeds past aunt marie's house in a speed that's definitely illegal. 

a/n: hi how are you?