wait// joshler

38

word count: 273

dad looks over at joshua.

"son, i think it's time for you to go home."

joshua nods.

"bye tyler," he looks at me. and then nods to dad before taking off through the front door.

dad shuts it behind him. 

he takes deep breathes in and the silence puts so much weight on my shoulders. i feel guilty for even letting it out.

"how long have you known, joshua?"

"six months."

"how long have you been friends?"

"two."

"okay.."

"did i do something.. wrong?"

"well. no, he's your friend... i just."

he's quiet again, his hand to his mouth.

"don't tell him everything so quickly."

"okay?"

"because, i don't want you hurt, son."

dad sits next to me, and grabs me.

"im sorry you know all that you do?"

"about what?"

"that... you're a.. what's a way to phrase this?"

"a non-consensually birthed child?"

"well.. yes."

"or a bastard."

"tyler!"

"what? i've known pretty much all my life."

"how?"

"it's not that hard to know. just subtract my age from you and hers. she was twenty one, you were eighteen, and one time she said she met you when you were like.. sixteen and you guys started dating when you were seventeen."

"when did she tell you this?"

"i was seven and asked how you met."

"oh."

"i didn't know them how wrong it was. i guess she didn't think i'd remember so she didn't care about telling me."

"im sorry you know."

"me too. sometimes. but it's not your fault dad."

i see him pull his hand up to his face. 

"i love you, ty-guy."

"i love you too dad."

he smiles softly.

"and i finally understand what you meant."

"when?"

"when you said you wished mom was dead."

"i-."

"i understand."

"tyler," he grabs my hand. 

"i love.. a part of her because she's my mom. but im glad she's gone."

"me too."

a/n: happy tuesday knuckleheads :)