wait// joshler

33

word count: 319

i take a deep breath and open my front door. joshua's there. his fist in the air, as i assume he was about to knock on my front door.

"you came to apologize?"

"yes."

"i was coming to you."

"well. i was coming to you, obviously."

"im sorry."

"i'm sorry too."

"you have nothing to apologize for."

"i do too, tyler."

"what for?"

"i said you always have stuff going on. like. you vanish for periods of time and don't talk to me. and i don't know what you're going through, so that was a shitty thing to say."

"i..."

im not used to people apologizing to me. even though dad does it all the time. it just feels weird. 

"joshua."

"yes?"

"i'm sorry. for being a bitch to you. my personal life shouldn't interfere with our friendship."

"but it does. because it's you. it's intertwined with everything you do," he put his hand on my shoulder.

i don't know how to respond.

"i'm sorry for hating your life-," it slips out before i can stop it.

"what?" his hand drops off my shoulder.

"i.. said." i'm trying to think of a lie. my hands start sweating. i don't know what lie to come up with. i can't hide what i said.

"i know what you said tyler."

he looks at me. his eyes are soft. but i don't trust them. 

"but i don't get... what you mean?"

"ignore it. it means nothing."

"tyler-."

i can feel the tears in my eyes. and they follow down my cheeks before i can stop them. i fall to the floor and start to sob. i forget joshua is there. and i gasp and i cry. 

his arms surround me as i sob.

"tyler..."

i don't want his pity. i don't want him to know how broken inside i am. 

i feel like he can see inside me. like he knows everything about me. the broken pieces of me. but i don't want him to. i want him to see me as normal.

i want him to like me.

a/n: same ty, same