wait// joshler

51

word count: 332

tomorrow is christmas. shit.

-

"good evening, tyler!"

"hi joshua."

"how are you doing?"

"good, dad's asleep on the couch. i think he was watching football again," i swing my feet off the edge of my bed. i want to rush over to joshua's house. but i know he's not there. he's at his grandparents.

"i'm fine, and you?"

"great! my grandpa just made his famous sweet potato pie."

"that's cool."

"are your aunt and uncle and cousins gonna go to your house?"

"they celebrate christmas."

"do you not?"

"not as a religious holiday, no. my dad is agnostic and i'm an atheist."

"oh. what do you guys do?"

"usually give gifts to my family the day after, since they eat together and pray and stuff like that."

i feel tense. i don't like talking about religion.. seeing as how im not into it really. 

"oh, okay."

"you think it's weird, don't you?"

"what?"

"that i'm not a christian or whatever."

"no, of course not."

"oh."

"we're not supposed to judge... though i know people.. do."

"i.. i'm sorry for bringing it up."

"tyler, you don't have to say sorry."

"i know.. i just."

"whatever fits you is what you are. that goes for gender... and sexuality, and religion as well."

"why are you so smart.. and so patient?"

"have you met my parents?"

"no, you're right."

i hear some static in the background.

"mom's called me for dinner, i have to go."

"bye j."

"see ya tyler!"

-

i lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling. the holidays are always lonely. it's the first one without mom. and it feels like i should be on my toes. she was a christian. it's the first christmas where i should feel at peace. i am at peace.

but i'm not.

-

"hi, tyler," dad smiles, taking me into the living room. the tree has been set up and there's presents scattered under it.

"you.. got.." my voice trails off.

"happy christmas... merry christmas? aw shit i don't know."

i grab him and hug him, "thanks dad."

"just open them up, ty-guy."

i smile and tear open the gifts, not caring about the after effect. i just want to smile.

i just want to enjoy christmas.

a/n: like i said, sorry for not updating,

merry christmas! (in july)