wait// joshler

41

word count: 511

me and joshua are at a publix standing in front of the bakery counter. he's talking to the guy behind the counter. i'm standing a few feet behind next to a stand of muffins, pretending to browse them.

there's blueberry, chocolate, and banana nut. 

i put a box of chocolate muffins in my shopping cart. 

joshua walks back over to me.

"matty said the cake will be done in an hour or so."

"truly?"

"truly."

"should we browse for decorations then?"

"he said he would call me, but yeah sure let's go."

-

"i think this pink is a cute color."

"if you're gay, wouldn't that be blue and like.. teal?"

"i was going for my favorite color."

"you could do that."

"it expresses who i am. plus this would be the first time i could genuinely tell people i like pink."

"could you not before?"

"no," i look past joshua and look at balloons when his phone goes off.

"i have to go get the cake," he mouths and then goes pass me down the aisle back toward the bakery.

i hold the decorations in my hand. weighing the color pink versus the color blue. 

i put the blue back and throw the pink in the cart, before slowly going toward the bakery. 

joshua comes from behind me and shows me the cake.

"tada!" he smiles.

"it's very nice, joshua."

"thank you."

"i am gay. so original."

"very. i thought about asking if he could put little candy dicks. but he said they didn't have any in stock at the moment."

"jesus so many people want candy dicks, huh?"

"yeah. but he said if we truly, wanted them, we could go to a... specific store and buy some."

"joshua.. we're eighteen, shut up," i laugh and push him slightly.

he laughs back at me and puts the cake in the cart, "oh don't do that. you know for a hot minute you were considering it."

"okay you caught me."

i push the cart some more as joshua browses around me. i blindly follow him, seeing as how i only wanted the cake, and a few decorations.

"hey tyler?" he asks.

"yeah?"

"did you want me to tell my parents about you before or after you come out to your family?"

"after. i don't want your parents to accidentally talk to my dad and out me before i can."

"okay."

it's quiet between us again. as we look at stuff. my mind is running and running.

"w-would you spend the night with me?" i ask him.

"why?"

"w-what do you mean why? you're my boyfriend i want you over."

"oh."

"and also i don't know how to come out and i need you to guide me, joshua."

"okay."

"would you?"

he grabs my hand, "of course i would."

"thank you."

"don't worry, t," he says and smiles.

we continue to roam down the aisle and through the store, throwing things in the cart everyday few aisles.

joshua pays for the cake and the decorations, even though i asked multiple times for him not to.

he insists, and then i make him let me carry the stuff to his car. 

and then he holds my hand all the way back to my house.

and he refuses to let go.  which is good.

because i don't want him to let go.