wait// joshler

22

word count: 279

"how did you get fourth place? it's your first damn time playing?"

"i'm just good," i reply, laying back slightly on his bed. 

" i told you. you can.. you know, sit on my bed, you don't have to sit on the floor."

"no, i've been outside im dirty.. it's... fine."

"dude, i don't care, just sit up there."

i stand up and look at his bed. i sit down and i feel so weird, i don't know what the boundaries are for... friends.

"ready to start again?" he asks. 

i nod.

but in the back of my mind, i wonder.

am i truly worthy of a friend? do i even know how to truly.. socialize?

im not sure. 

-

"do you wanna stay over for dinner?"

too much..

"uhm.."

"you don't have to if you don't want to. we can move our.. friendship slowly."

"i think that's.. too much. for today."

"alright, want me to walk you home?"

i shake my head, i'm too embarrassed.

"i'm good," i reply.

"at least to my front door?"

i nod, "that's okay."

he opens the door to his bedroom and i follow him to his front door. through the long hallway, cluttered with photos. i see a little boy, laying on a golden retriever, whom must be joshua's dog, jim. they're watching tv in the living room. two loving parents making dinner together and laughing. 

"hi joshy," the little boy says.

"hey jor," joshua replies and smiles, but the smile he gives is different. 

he opens the front door. and i don't want to go. i want it to... just be us. 

"goodbye, ty,"

"bye joshua," i reply.

he shuts the door and the whole world collapses on my shoulders.

i think i have a crush. on him. 

no, not think.

i know i do. 

a/n: 

and so, it begins