wait// joshler

43

word count: 509

"im so glad you skipped school with me thursday and friday."

"mom and dad are pissed at me, and i'm grounded until next week. but i'd do anything for you."

"i don't want them to be.. mad at you."

"tyler, don't worry. i'd do anything for you."

"my family will be here at noon, when dad gets off."

"okay."

"okay.."

"what do you wanna do til then?"

"mindlessly watch tv. i'm so nervous."

joshua grabs my hand, "okay."

the first thing on is family feud. he shouts a few answers and i just watch him. 

god he's my soul. 

-

joshua ties a tie on me because i'm too nervous and my hands are too slippery to do it myself. he adjusts my hair and then kisses my forehead.

it's ten minutes til twelve. dad is stationed in the living room and joshua's in the bathroom. 

"who dresses in a tuxedo for a party? and where did you get a tux?" dad asks.

"uhm.. this is a very special party, so me dad. and joshua let me borrow it."

"oh alright."

there's a knock on the front door and i answer it quickly and anxiously. aunt marie stands there, her hand intertwined with my uncles. jai and ellie stand happy behind them.

"i'm so happy we're over here. get to see the new house," ellie smiles.

"hello, tj," aunt marie smiles.

i shiver. they walk in, covering up conversation with dad.

ellie and jai look at me. pulling me into the kitchen.

"a party.. eh? what kind of party is just your family?"

"tyler where is the-." joshua stops when he sees my cousins.

both their eyes widen. "oh. you're here, hello," they say at the same time.

"hi."

"what is the point of this party?"

"you know.. just because you two are my favorite-."

"only," ellie says.

"cousins. doesn't mean you get more details than the adults."

"ugh fine. you suck."

"into the living room."

ellie sticks her tongue out at me, as jai pulls her away. 

"hm.. they're nice."

"i love them," i whisper.

"are you.. ready?"

"no."

"your hair is sticking up," he licks his hand and then pats my head.

his eyes light up as he stares at me.

"what?" i whisper.

"you're.. so perfect."

"thanks.."

i glance off nervously to the fridge. i open it and unwrap the cake. opening its' sealing, and setting it on the dining table.

"i would... like everyone to come into the dining room."

me and joshua stand in front of the cake. 

"i didn't notice the pink decorations until just now," aunt marie says.

"they're nice," uncle john says.

"i have something to tell everyone."

the silence creeps on my neck and i see joshua slowly moving to the side. i move to the left.

all my fears are pulling at my skull. pulling me apart.

i take a deep breath in and let the words fall out of my mouth. 

"i'm gay."

i close my eyes.

nobody says anything.

and then a burst of happiness explodes from everybody's mouths. 

except dad's.

i open my eyes, and i don't see him. and i panic. and then i feel arms wrapped around me.

and i fall. i know it's dad.

and i'm sobbing. the tears falling off my face. i don't care if i'm left with tear streaks.

"i love you, ty-guy."