If I had met you in grey

Chapter 88

(Hey all! I'm changing something small from the regular book.. Hopefully it works and you guys like it okay. Also a longer chapter!)

Tris POV
Later that day we have another simulation, mine was kidnapping. After all of us have gone through the simulations we head back to the dorms or the pit. I know Tobias joined Zeke and Uriah down there, what they're doing... I have no idea.

"They were horrible!" Christina exclaims. We had pushed two bed together so we could all sit together in a circle. "Yes, moths, the devils creature." Marlene comments. We all laugh. Christina scowls, she's snuggled up with will, it's obvious now that something's going on between them. "What was your fear Tris?" Shauna asks. "Kidnapping." I say. "Was it really scary or easy? It sounds easy." Marlene says. "It wasn't easy-"

"Of course it was. No one gets through it that fast." I get cut off by peter. Shauna leaves, she told us she wanted to go find Lynn. That leaves me, Chris, Will, Marlene, and Al. "What do you want?" Will asks. "How do you do it??" He asks. "What?" I ask annoyed at his presence. "Only you and number boy get through it fast, too fast." He adds. "What's your trick?" He asks. "I don't have a trick." I tell him.

"Leave her alone." Al says. Peter eyes him and smirks maliciously at him. "Really?? You of all people are going to stand up for her!?" He asks beginning to laugh. "She was failing, at the bottom. Now where is she at?? Hmmm?" He says. "Who's gonna take her place there at the bottom? You." He says pointing at Al. "You're never going to pass, especially now that there are two people that cheat." He says talking about me and Tobias.

"We don't cheat. We're just better than you." I hear Tobias's voice. He walks over to us, arms crossed and a blank face on. Peter rolls his eyes, "Al just get used to this coldness now. Because there won't be a lot of warmth when you're factionless." Peter snaps and with that he's gone. "Don't listen to him Al." Will says. "Yeah he's just an asshole." Christina says. Al nods, he has a confident face on but I can see right through it. I think Tobias can too. "Lets go to dinner." I suggest. "Great idea!" Marlene says and we all walk off to the dinning hall.

****
I left dinner early, not really hungry. Peter kept smirking at our table like he knew something or he was proud of something he did. I walk down the hall way and turn down the path that leads to chasm. And that's when I see him. Al, holding onto the railing and looking down at the rushing water and spiking rocks below him. "Al?" I ask carefully, walking slowly to him. He snaps his head my direction, and looks me right in the eyes. There pure fear in his eyes, he's petrified inside and out.

"Don't do this." I tell him. Nothing changes. It's almost like the simulation with Tobias in it. "Al come back over the edge, we can talk." I say. I try to smile, but I'm not sure how it turned out. He closes his eyes and turns away from me, and in an instant, he lets go. I scream, I rush over the where he stood and look down. I catch a glimpse of him falling before he lands crashing the side of his head on a piece of rock.

I scream, and keep screaming as the tears come. "Tris!!" I hear someone else yell. Tobias. The only person who would come this quickly when hearing my scream. "Tris!" I turn to see him staring at me wide eyed.

"Al! He jumped, and I.. I." I say and collapse into Tobias's chest, his arms hooking around me. "Shhh, Shh." He coos. I peer over his shoulder and see people crowding around looking down at his body that lays in his blood at the bottom chasm. I see some dauntless officials making their way through and Tobias leads me back to the empty dorms.

He sits me on his lap, I'm still in a heap of tears. Tobias now has a dark spot on his shirt made of my tears, but I doubt he cares. "Tris what happened?" He whispers into me hair. "He looked at me, and just jumped. I tried to help him, to stop him-" I say shaking my head in disbelief, I can still see it in my mind.

"Its okay, it'll be alright." Tobias whispers to me trying to calm me down. I pull back and look into Tobias's eyes, but all I see is Al jumping into the glassy reflection. I close my own eyes and he's there too. "The man finally decided to jump huh?" I hear peter snicker. I look at him, he's in the corner smirking like usual. "You. You made him!" I say to him. "Me? I never told him to jump." He says all innocent. I get off Tobias's lap and go over to him.

"You pushed, with your words. You got into his head." I yell at him. "Can you prove it?" He asks confident and testing me. And I give in, I lunge at him but someone grabs me first.

Tobias swings me into arms, I try to wiggle out of his grasp but he's too strong. "Tris. Tris! Calm down!" He yells at me, trying to get my anger to simmer down. I breathe in and out, and watch peter walk out chuckling to himself. I finally get myself out of Tobias hold and walk out of the dorms.

******
"Tobias stop!" I scream, my tears flowing down my face like a river. He looks back at me, holding onto the rusty bar, one step from jumping. "Forever." He whispers. "No! NO!!" I scream as he lets go. I watch his body fall and fall, until it land right onto a rock, piercing him.

"There's no forever if you leave. " I whisper to myself. "You said forever!" I scream into chasm, my voice echoing off of the walls. "Tris." I hear Tobias's voice, and it only reminds me of watching him fall to his death. "Tris." He says again and I fall to my knees crying out. "Tris!" His voice calls to me, I cover my ears in the hopes it will muffle my pain. But it doesn't, it just enhances it. Tris. Tris. Tris.

I wake up covered in sweat and shaking rapidly. "Tris." Tobias hovers over me, holding my shoulders. "Sorry, sorry, sorry." I repeat over and over again. "Shh, Shh, Come on." He says helping me stand up. He half carries me, all the way to training room. Turning on one of the dim lights and we walk over to a wall, sitting shoulder to shoulder. He turns his head to look at me. "What was your nightmare? Chasm related I assume." He says.

"You jumped." I choke out. The vision of Al jumping is now replaced by the vision of Tobias jumping. "Tris-" "And whether it's in my fear landscape or in a dream, it's still as powerful and I can never stop you." I tell him. He doesn't try to speak because he knows not to. "And every time, you mouth the word forever. And I know that you mean that you'll love me forever, but-" Tobias wipes a tear that trails down my cheek.

"But you give up the forever part. It's true that you'll love me forever, but I want to be with you and love you forever." I say.

"Tris baby, I'm not going anywhere. I don't want you to ever think that, because there is no possible way I would leave you. The only way, would be if you left me." He says smiling at me a bit. "Tris I love you, so much. And I can't imagine living without you, not having you in my life, not having you in my arms." He says and with that I crash my lips to his.

Soaking up all that he said and all that happened today... I realized I can't live without him, I simply and honestly can't.