If I had met you in grey

Chapter 93

Tris POV
"You okay?" I whisper into Tobias's ear once he comes out from the simulation room. He came out pale, tear stained and shaking. "I'm fine now." He tells me. I look into his eyes to see if I can spot any sign that he is lying. But I don't find any.

"Tris." The man replacing Amar calls out. I get up and walk toward the open metal doors. The man closes the door behind us and I take a seat in the chair.

He gets the syringe ready and the computer set up, while doing so I notice black ink crawling up his right arm, half covered by the black shirt he's wearing but the rest showing. It crawls to his wrist and loops around it, the head peeking out when it gets to the top of his hand. A snake.

"Alright." The man with the snake tattoo says, and sticks the needle into my neck.

I open my eyes to the sound of heavy breathing. I look from my left to my right and my eyes land on Tobias. His eyes are shut tight and his hand are clenched into fists.

"Tobias." I say and he looks to me, opening his blue eyes. He doesn't speak though, but I can't tell if he really can't or he's just frozen in fear.

"Hey Breathe, take deep breaths." I tell him. I can tell he's trying but it's hard for him. I look down and see the water now seeping into my shoes, freezing my toes. We're in a glass box, no way out, and cold water is flowing in.

I start banging against the glass, but nothing. The claustrophobic environment is getting too much for Tobias.

The water is to my waist now, Tobias is still standing still and I've come across a theory of why he's here, a horrible terrible theory that I hope is not true.

I'm going through two fears at once.

I look at him and the water has raised to my chest now, it's a bit higher on me than Tobias since he's taller than me. I grab for his hand under the water and I find it, we lock hands, side by side. The water's up to my chin and I know I have to take my last breath soon, and watch Tobias do the same.

I suck in a large breath as the water takes me, and Tobias following. He's staring at me, as if he's telling me something before he goes.

But I squeeze his hand harder to let him know not to say goodbye yet. But that's when his eyes close and he floats to the top. And that's when I loose the breath I was holding as I sob under the water.

I jerk awake, still in the metal chair. The same looming walls and the man that put me into the simulation stands looking at the computer. I get up and walk out, not being able to shake what just happened. I open the door and Tobias sits there.

Alive. Still breathing. Waiting for me.

I walk over and sit beside him and grab his hand that was placed in his lap. He turns to look at me, and probably expects me to say something. But I can't. All I can do is sit like this, holding his hand close and knowing that he's alright.

****
The last person goes and we finally get to exit that horrible waiting room. I tell myself to feel relieved since that was the last time we'd be in that room, but I can't feel relieved after what I just went through.

Tobias and I walk hand in hand alone and silent on our way to the chasm, our spot to be exact. We sit against the rocks, the water spraying our ankles. We're closer than we've ever sat here before. Almost like we can't get close enough to each other although we are.

"It was horrible." Tobias finally says and I can tell his voice is a bit lower than normal, when it's like that I know something's going on. "Mine too. It was too real for me to handle." I say and we turn to face each other. "What was yours?" I ask him and he stares down into his lap.

"I had two combined." He says. I had thought that it was just me. "Me too." I say and I know that did something for him. "Heights and watching you die." He mumbles, and you can see that he's replaying it in his mind.

"Mine was drowning and watching you die." I tell him and he looks at me again.

"You fell from the zip line and I couldn't save you." He says and the pain speaks in his whole face. From his eyes to the way his mouth moves as he tells me.

"I had to watch you plummet to the ground, and there was nothing I could do to stop you." Tobias says. And I know how much this is hurting him, to tell me about what he had experienced.

"I had to watch you drown in the same tank I was in." I say seeing his floating body above me.

"I kind of like that we're both afraid of loosing each other." He admits. I smile at him, and get one from him in return.

"Me too. It means that we're very valuable to one another and that we love each other." I say.

"It showed me even more that I really can't live without you. That I can't have you leaving me." He says.

"It showed me how short life can be with the person you love. And that you have to hold onto that person as long as you can." I say remembering our clasped hands under water.

"I love you." He says and every part of him believes that words that come from his mouth. And every part of me believes it too.