Chapter 32- "Checkmate, I couldn't lose"

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"Get out

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"Get out." I half whisper.

His face drops, his eyes frantically searching mine for any trace of humor "What?" He breathes out, clearly suprised.

"Why would you say that?" He knows how to pull on my heartstrings, I'll give him that. He almost had me believing him, almost.

"I've been wanting to say it for years." He says taking a step closer to me, I take one back.

"Oh yeah? Then why now? Huh? You're just trying to use me like everyone else." I say sadly.

"What? No, I'm- I'm not."

"You know people come up to me, try and act nice for their own agenda. I've noticed it a lot more since I broke up with Tyler. I never, ever thought that you would do it too."

"I'm not using you, Rhi." He tries to reason.

"I trusted you with everything, proving yet again that I'm a naive idiot. I guess I shouldn't really be surprised anymore... but this one hurt."

"I take it back."

"What?"

"I take it back, ok. Just forget I said it. We can just-" He says deliberately not using the word.

"It's not something you can take back." I say. " I want you to leave." I say quietly.

"Rhi, please don't do this. Don't shut me out. I wouldn't say that I love you if I didn't fully mean it." I tightly shut my eyes. Stay strong. He's manipulating you like everyone else, don't fall for it.

"Get out. Now." I say louder.

My eyes are still shut, the only indication to me that he's left being the front door that I hear a moment later open and then slam shut, shaking the full house.

I open my eyes, watching the front door as if I expect him to return but he isn't coming back and that's what sets of the flow of tears.

Why can't anything be simple?

I think a part of me wishes that he'll come back a part of me thinks he will. But I can't hope for that because I was the one who told him to leave.

'I'm in love with you, Rhi.'

Out of all the things he could've said, that was the least likely. Which is why he has to be lying. There is no way that he loves me.

And the timing? If he's been 'in love with me' for so long then why tell me now? If he's loved me for years, like he claims to, then why hasn't he told me before?

When Ira said 'trust no-one' she really meant it. Looks like I'm back to only trusting myself, it's a long hard road from here.

Jacksons never lied to me before, he's kept things from me but I can't think of an instance where he's directly lied to me before. What if he was telling the truth?

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