I am sitting looking at everyone else having fun .
Beautiful Blair is actually giving some girl a make over while they are taking shots . Christina and Jessica are sitting on the couch laughing over something silly I am sure .
Tim is making out with some girl . Everest is dancing in huttle with some kids I don't know .
Derek is drinking a beer and looking at his phone . Clyde and Brayden is sitting in a area where I am . Honestly I am not sure how we all got in this circle togather , but Clyde is telling stories that I find boring .
Austin is sitting beside me and and laughing at Clyde 's stories
Shane is sitting across from us and he is staring at us .
My mind keeps going back to yesterday I am not 100 percent sure but I think me and Shane almost kissed .
It sure felt like it .
I know I have been crushing hard on Shane , but I don't want to be just one of his conquest .
Sometimes it feels like me and Shane has connected on another level but I am. Not sure if that is real or in my head . He was quite when we went out for dinner I wonder if he thought we was about to kiss .
I slept in late and really just took all day getting ready trying to avoid Austin.
And Austin is here and I care about him and he means alot to me But I don't want him here ,it just complicates things .
I know he thinks he has feelings for me I am not even sure if he really does . Because the whole time we was together he never really
Tried we kissed a little but not much . But I know I want to go forward and not backward .
It is true if I was still in L.A . I would be with him , but it wasn't right and I felt that way for a long time .
" Thank you all of you for coming to my party " Tim shouts and rasies his glass
I can't help but laugh .
Blair walks up and she looks great .
" I gave a great make over I am going to be the best make up artist one day " she boasts
" Hey Austin this is Blair " I introduce them
Austin is polite to her .
Blair was suppose to meet us for diner last night but she had to cancel
" Blair so you remember telling me that Tim 's father has a music room well Austin is so into music you think you can show him ." I say
" Sure " she says
I watch them leave maybe it is wrong to push them togather. I just don't want to hurt Austin.
Shane gets up and sits next to me .
Now Brayden and Clyde is in their own conversation.
" you know it wont work " Shane tells me
" What " I ask and move a piece of hair behind my ear
" Trying to get Blair and him together " he states
" " Why Blair is beautiful " I say
" Blair is very attractive " he admits
Which for some reason I don't like .
" But Kendall Austin is still into you and he thinks your relationship is still possible " he tells me and I know he is right
" Yea but I am not trying to get them together I just want him distracted until he leaves you know " I whine and I realize how crazy that sounds
His eyes match the color of shirt
" Don't feel bad I can tell you do , but you deserve to have a good relationship a real one one filled with passion " he tells me
He is right I am feeling bad over this . I don't want to hurt Austin but I don't want to be with Austin .
He is looking at me , it is almost like he cares . Maybe he considered me a friend.
He looks up and roof and lets out breathe it is like he is frustrated, but still I find him unbelievable attractive.
" Well I guess you moved on " Samantha comes up and she is swaying
She is drunk like really drunk .
" What are you talking about " Shane questions her
" I knew you would but I didn't see you with the sweet new girl " she slurs
" He will break your heart into a million pieces like a piñata" she tells me
Shane gets up
" Ok lets go " he says and turns her around and steers her
But he turns around and says to me
" If you want to talk I will be in Tim's bed room "
Why did he say that ?
Does he mean talk I mean we was talking .?
I walk around for a few minutes and I find Austin.
" Hey" he tells me and he gives me a big hug
One of those hugs where he picks me up for a second
" you wanna walk outside , it is so loud in here " I suggest
After we are walking for a few minutes I get the courage to ask
" So what did you think of Blair "
" she is nice and cool she knew a lot about music " he answers me
" She is really pretty " I state
He stops and smiles
" She is pretty but I am interested in you "
He then grabs my 2 hands
" Austin " I say he moves closer and leans in
I quickly move back
" I miss you " he says
" I miss you too " I say
He gives me a look as though he is saying then what is the problem so I feel the need to tell him .
" Austin I miss hanging with you and laughing at everything ,playing video games stuff like that but as far as boyfriend. And girlfriend stuff we didn't do much of it ." I explain
" We was togather like 2 And a half years and we only kissed a hand full of times " I continue
" are you saying you was not happy" he asks
It is not that I was not happy I am not sure I realize it was not how it should be even though it didn't feel right it was still a confront there
" I am not saying that I am just saying that we should not go back and I want to see you happy " I answer him
" ok I care about you but I have to tell you that while we was dating I never dreamed you would want to do anything because we barkey kissed and I didn't want to lose you so I did not try hard " he tells me
This confuses me , but I guess it makes some kind of senses
" But I must confess I at some times I was sleeping with Kara " he tells me
I feel upset and confused . He would barley kiss me but he was screwing Kara.
"What really how long when why " I say and it all comes out together
" Because Kara would let me do things and I liked you so much but I was so scared I try something and you was goody too shoes and I thought you wouldn't want to so if I tried that would it just end so I was careful not to and then I got use to it , but I am a man and she was willing " he tells me
" You know how insane that is right you was screwing her because you liked me soo much " I scream
" You are too good a real goody goddy and we live in Los angels so you know it is all over all around us but you stayed nice and pure and I love that about you I loved it so much that I thought if I would have just you know messed up by pushing things further you would walk away and we would be no more but trust me I want to kiss you all the time so many more times than I did. I wanted to sleep with so many times but I didn't want to take the chance of ending us " he says
" I can't be around you right now Jessica will make sure you get to the house " I tell him
I storm off and text Jessica to take care of lover boy .
It don't make sense .
I wanted a relationship that was love and had passion in it .
I need to think no I need not to think .
I just can't make sense if this .
I walk fast to Tim's bedroom and knock on the door .
YOU ARE READING
Living with the trouble maker
RomanceKendall Meddler moves in with ,her mothers old Collage friend The Pitts who has a son and the closer she gets to Shane Pitts the hard everything gets .
