I am standing looking in the mirror at myself . I don't look any different . But I never. Thought I would be the girl who would cheat but I did .
I was drinking we was in a pool and I got swept away .
But it don't make it right.
I don't want to hurt Derek . But it did feel amazing.
I know I have feelings for Shane Pitts , there no doubt about it . But I am very mad at myself for cheating . I did what Austin did to me , well not exactly I didn't have sex I just made out .
And Austin done that to me for years .
I know that I already had feelings for Shane before I got with Derek . But Shane didn't really want me then . I am not even sure he really wants me now . He could just want me because Derek does . There is something crazy going on with them anyway .
And he has admit he has hooked up with boy's girlfriend just to get back at the boys .
So this could be that .
Either way he was so sweet last night .
And when we got upstairs I had a second to think and I decided to back out of it.
I just told him I was tired and going to bed .
He was nice about but he asked if he could see me tomorrow.
So I am going to let him down easy . I don't want to hurt his feelings anyway .And he does have this information he can tell Derek .
I probably should tell Derek myself but I am a coward . I just feel like why should I tell him and hurt him for no reason . It is not going to happen again . So telling Derek could only hurt him for no reason.
Finally I get my nerve up to go and let Shane down easy and beg him not to tell Derek.I made sure I was not in anything revealing.
I have on a long pair of jeans and a hoddie . My hair is in a messy bun .I take in a really long and deep breath I close my eyes and knock on Shane's door .
He opens up the door wearing a white t shirt and jeans he look great like always.
He smiles and he looks even more handsome." Hey Kendall " he exclaims and before a word out of my mouth he pulls me and his lips are on mine .
I kiss him back for a minute I know it was wrong it was wrong to Derek because I am cheating . It was wrong to Shane because it could lead him on .but it was even more wrong to me because I want to so much and I can't and it hurts to be close to him and no it won't go no where .
I push him back ." What is wrong ?" He asks
I walk over to a recliner he has in his room I sit on it but I am on the edge . My hands is on my knees I am sure I look nervous that is because I am.
" You want me to get you something to eat or something " he asks
What is he doing ?
Why is he asking me do I want him to get me something?I don't answer
He looks so hot and I want nothing more then to kiss him . But I already made up my mind . It is not fair to Derek I don't want to hurt him , It is not fair to Me because I would be hurting because I want to be with Shane . And it fair to Shane either because I do want him and it is a waste of feelings .He goes right into another sentence.
" It took you a while to come over , I was beginning to think you wasn't going to ." He tells me
He seems different not like how he normally bes .
He is being really nice ." Shane iii" I stutter
He walks over and he bends down and his arm is across my legs .
" Tell me what it is that is bothering you " he says there is a sincerity in his eyes
" I am mad at myself for what we did last night " I admit
He gets a look of disgust on his handsome face . He gets up .
He takes a deep breathe then he asks" Why you don't really like me?"
How can he think that." Because I have a boyfriend , and what we did was basically cheating " I tell him
" I guess I mean we didn't sleep together but I won't lie to you before you went in I was so wanting to ." He admits
I am blushing but I look away from him but I know he sees it .
" I could kind of tell you was pushing away last night " he says
This cause me to look at him .
He don't say nothing about my red cheeks , he just looks so sad .
I didn't mean to hurt him , but this Is. Shane Pitts I didn't think he could get hurt over a girl." Shane you know after I found out about Austin cheating on me I felt so stupid , and probably everyone knew . Everyone but me ." I say
" He is a stupid idiot, to have a girl like you and cheat " Shane says
Does he mean that ?
Is he just trying to play me ?
Is this him trying to pull one over on Derek ?" Shane is this for something to do with your dislike for Derek " I ask
"What " he yells
I stand up" I do dislike him but since he got with you I dislike him even more ." He tells me
Wow, I can't believe he said that.
Is this real ?
Or is this part of a game ?
I don't know what to believe." So I am I some part of. A game or something." I ask
He rushes to me and puts both of his hands on my face .
" No I want you because I want you and I wanted you before he was in the picture." He tells me
I moved his hands and walk past him .
" Then why did you tell me this would never happen again." I ask
He laughs " obviously that was a lie " he states
" But then why " I beg for a answer
" Because I was protecting you " he tells me
" Protecting me from what ." I ask
" From me ok " he screams
From him that dont makes any sense .
And he really was protecting me from him then why does he want this now , because he is still him , so what has changed .
Or is he just feeding me some lies .
" Shane you didn't want me and now you do can't because I have a boyfriend you see how I would be confused " I tell him
" I guess but this ain't about me wanting you I am in , the question is and I already know the answer do you want me " he says
I hope he can't read how I feel on my face ,
He walks closer and touches my arm ." I know you want me , I can feel it and last night you started striping and getting into the pool " he says
But the way he said it sounds like how he normally says things not how he been all nice ." Shane my question for you is will you keep this between us " I ask
He just looks at me .
" Becasue as much as you hate Derek I don't want to be the one who hurts him " I say
He walks over to his door and opens it and
Says
" I guess you will just have to see if I will or not "
Then he motions for me to leaves his room so I do .
YOU ARE READING
Living with the trouble maker
Storie d'amoreKendall Meddler moves in with ,her mothers old Collage friend The Pitts who has a son and the closer she gets to Shane Pitts the hard everything gets .