Chapter 50 Kendall( Playing for )

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I got myself cleaned up , I know I have to talk to Shane because he lives right here I am embarrassed though .
And I need to talk to Derek unless we are just gonna call it quits which maybe we should .

I walk out of the room and Shane is walking up the stairs with chips in his hands .

          " Hey " he says

        " hi" I answer

Why is this so hard . I let him do those things so I should not be embarrassed .

         " I just seen Jessica her and Bo have a all day date ." He tells me
        " Yea those love birds " I reply

          " Blair and Christina is coming over they said I need to spill major tea " I tell him and he laughs

          " Do you think that the tea is about me " he ask and he eats a chip

          " Possible , I mean anyone could have seen us " I say and I get flustered
He moves closer . I can't think when he is this close to me but I try , so what did he just ask me oh yea , did I think that the tea was about him . And I said possible. But the truth is I would be surprised if it was not about him .
I look in his eyes and I could get lost .
          " well I know people seen us on the dance floor " he tells me with his eye brows rasied
I know what he meant but I chose to ignore And just I say

         "That is true " 

        " I hope no one didn't see us in the room" I say
And I get so embarrassed by thinking of it

      " Am I that  bad " he asks
And he seems to think that maybe he is .

         " No you are my best friends brother " I say

        " so " he says like it means nothing

       " So I don't think she would not like us doing  those things " I say

         " well it is none of her business " he tells me

          "Umm. I have to ask you something " I say to him

He just looks at me then he moves  his hand like he is telling me to go on

            " Do you think less of me " I ask

        " What no " he answers

     " Are you like embarrassed or something " he asks

         " I am " I admit

         " You have no reason to be I love seeing you like that being the reason you got like that you just let yourself go and you should" he says

         " they are waiting by the pool Umm see ya" I say
       " Sounds good " he tells me

         " Look who it is Miss club " Christina jokes

         " we was only joking about you showing us how they do it in L.A." Blair tease

             " I know I know " say and pray to myself they stop

           " And with Shane Pitts I mean I get it he is hot but Jesica " Blair says

        " Thank God Jessica was off in a room with Bo or she would be mad" Christina tells me

         " I know I was drunk that is why I done it but I dont think Jesica will be that mad do you " I say

I can tell by their faces she will

          " look we done decided not to tell her and no one else is paying attention to who Shane hooks up with because they know it won't be done again " Christina says

         " except Derek" Blair says

  " he could be mad and tell Jessica " I state

        " What happened yall was so great then what he messed up by going to a strip club " Blair says

        " I guess " I say

    " Hello" we hear and turn around it is Derek standing with his hands in his pockets

        " we are going to go to the mall see you later Kendall " Blair says

They leave and Derek sits down.

              "
so I just figured we need to talk " he claims

        " we do but I need to go to church so can you make it quick " I tell him

           " I don't want to break up . I was wrong both times . I am sorry , seeing you dance with Shane like that it made me crazy but I understand you was still mad over the strip  club and the dirty dancing with
Girls so I can't be mad at you ." He tells me

   " please give me another chance " he begs

      " I just need to think about it ok " I tell him

After mass I went and got a Starbucks .

I can see Shane playing basketball as I start to walk into the house
.

           " You pretty good at basketball"  I complement

         " Yea"
He says and throws and misses

He seems to be in a bad mood.

I take a drink of my iced mocha

           " I seen Derek was here earlier " he tells me

And that is why he is in a bad mood .

          " he stopped by unannounced he  wants another chance " I say

Shane drops the ball .

               " Are you going to give it to him " he ask

         " Honestly I don't know " I admit

          " let me play " I demand
Only to change the subject

        " ok only for something " he says

           " Meaning ". I ask

     " If you win a game of pig I will make my mother cook mash potatoes when she gets back 3 times in a week" he says I laugh

           " And if you win " I say and try to sound flirt
   He walks closer and says

         " You have to stay in my room tonight " he says
In my mind I think if I be in his room then I am cheating I know I already cheated on Derek but it just feel more I don't know real .
But still I decide to do it .

The game is short and he won .

          " So go get your pjs on I will be waiting in my room " Shane tells me

He leaves the door open for me .

I walk in .
He has the covers puled down for me ,

He looks at me and seems to have his breath took .

        He pats the bed for me to get in .

I do and as I do I say

            " So you know nothing can happen because I have not made up my mind ."
I tell him

            " yea" he says

     " But if you ask me to " he says

       " ask you to what "
I ask

        " To touch you are any of that " he tells me

I cough.

             " How did your girls take it " he asks

        " they only knew about the dancing"
I let him know

               " And they agreed not to tell  Jessica " I say
He seems hurt his face looks so sad .

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