L̴o̴v̴i̴n̴g̴ M̴s̴. F̴e̴t̴h̴e̴r̴s̴t̴o̴n̴

Chapter 53

Now, I need to hurry up. Baka maabutan ko pa si Kali sa baba. I need to talk to her, and that's the last thing I wanted to do.

"Why did you do that?" I ask her, nang makalapit ako sa pwesto nya. She is sitting on the bench with her hands covering her face.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am. I didn't-"

"You're invading my privacy." I said it in annoyance. I'm not mad at Kali, I'm mad at myself for letting Kali see what happened earlier. I just feel like... I'm cheating on her.

"I'm s-sorry. I came there because... I just want to know, bakit hindi nyo po ako kinakausap, or must I say you're avoiding me again?" Nahimigan ko naman ang lungkot sa boses nito.

"Dahil wala namang dapat pag-usapan." Sabi ko sa kanya at tumalikod na dahil mukhang alam ko na kung saan ang patutunguhan ng usapan namin kapag hindi pa ako umalis dito.

"I'm serious about what I said that night." I know, baby and I'm sorry, but I need to stop this. My back was still facing her. Magsisimula na sana akong maglakad palayo sa kanya, but she quickly grabs my arm at dahan-dahang pinaharap sa kanya. "Wala ka ba talagang pakialam sa nararamdaman ko?" Malungkot na saad nito.

God, I don't want to hurt her.

"Ma'am, please... say something." I could sense that she's holding her tears not to fall. And that made her barely choke up.

Hindi ko maatim na titigan sya at baka pagginawa ko yun ay mas manaig lang yung kagustuhan kong sundin yung sinisigaw ng puso ko. At yun ay mahalikan at ikulong sya sa mga bisig ko.

"P-Please..." Her voice came off in whispers, as if, if she raised her voice a little louder, she wouldn't be able to stop her tears from falling from her eyes.

"I don't fucking care about feelings. Is that what you want to hear from me?" Medyo napalakas na saad ko rito na ikinatahimik at ikinabitaw nya naman sa braso ko. I need her to believe what I said, para matapos na'to.

I'm dreading saying something that would hurt her feelings even more. Tumalikod na ulit ako at nagsimula nang maglakad, but again she stops me for the second time.

"Pano na tayo?"

"You know that there is no us, Kali and there will never be an us." Matapang na saad ko rito, habang nakatalikod pa rin ako sa kanya. Bahagya nya naman akong pinaikot para humarap sa kanya.

"Tell me. Anong ibig sabihin ng mga pa make-out sessions natin, and that we almost reached the point of having sex. Y-Yung mga araw na sweet ka sa akin. Yung mga araw na nagseselos ka at kulang na lang ay ipagdamot mo ako sa iba. What does that mean to you?"

Oh my gosh, do I really have to answer her?

"Answer me!" She whispered yelled, and that made me flinch a little bit.

Kahit masakit ay napilitan akong bumitaw ng salitang kailan man ay hindi ko kayang sabihin yun sa kanya. I hate seeing her hurt.

"It was nothing! Ok." I said it in the same tone as her.

"So you fucking use me? You know that I like you." Nagsimula nang manginig ang boses nito, and it hurts me as well to hear her cracking voice. Gusto ko nang itigil to dahil alam kong nasasaktan ko na sya ng husto.

"I'm sorry, but please don't expect me to like you back. I have a boyfriend at ikakasal na Kami, and you know that. So please, itigil na natin 'to." Pakiusap ko rito at lakas loob na tinitigan sya. Namumula na ang mukha nito maging ang kanyang mga mata dahil sa pag-iyak. Bahagya pa akong napalunok ng makipagtitigan ito sa akin at kitang-kita ko sa kanyang mga mata kung gaano sya nasasaktan ng sobra.