Chapter 7. the hell that called itself holy

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— love is like a warm blanket, makes you feel safe and protected from the world —

— love is like a warm blanket, makes you feel safe and protected from the world —

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"My first murder was when I was ten. She was a nun."

15 years ago.

Convent of Prayers, Phuket, Thailand

Pain.

Kim was used to it. It was the only constant feeling in his life besides hunger. The darkness was a little bit more suffocating tonight, his fingers bleeding from scrapping dry pig blood from the bathroom tiles the entire day. It was a punishment. For what? Only because he was born a rogue hero, nothing else. Every week the nuns covered the bathroom tiles in pig blood, waited till it would get dry and then it was Kim's turn, a razor blade in his hand...five years old, six, seven, eight, nine, and now ten years old Kim had to go down on his knees and scrap everything off, only then he could get some food, take a rest and if he was lucky, even a couple of hours of sleep.

Other kids didn't have to do that.

Others were normal.

The nuns kept repeating that it was all for Kim's good. They were training him after all, how to  be resistant against pain, how to resist the sight of blood if he would ever see it. As if he was a vampire as if he was something so evil that it had no place at such a place as a convent. And he wished, Kim wished to be so evil, he wished that they would have no other choice than to let him go. Everywhere would be better than there, in the arms of nuns who tortured him worse than any evil ever could.

They were supposed to be the people that would care about Kim, that would show him how love feels, how it is to be a normal child, even when there were no parents he could call mom and dad. The nuns were supposed to be his family until someone's heart would skip a beat when they would see him and then they would take him home, becoming his mom and dad. They were supposed to care, they were...they were...

So why weren't they?

Kim hated his nature.

Why was he the rogue hero? Why couldn't he be normal? What was so wrong with him? Why couldn't he get the love like all the orphans in the convent did? Since he could remember he had always wondered how would being loved feel. Would it be warm like a late August afternoon? Or cold like the first touch of snow on your skin? Kim never saw snow before but he heard that it was pretty cold. Or maybe love felt like a warm blanket keeping you safe from the dangers of the world. Kim felt a warm blanket around his body...once...or maybe it was twice...when he was lucky enough and one of the kids shared it with him for a bit. He didn't have his own.

He didn't have anything besides himself and his power.

The power he didn't ask for.

The power he didn't know how to control yet.

"What have you done? Bastard!" The hard slap hit his cheek, a rosary in sister Ann's hand, scratching his youthful skin. "Make sister Angelica normal again or you'll sleep outside in that storm!"

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