Chapter 33. mercy

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— describe him with one word... "safe" —

Chay wished that he could say that he heard wrong but he didn't

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Chay wished that he could say that he heard wrong but he didn't.

Trying to use his power on Kim again? And for what? They both knew it didn't work. Finding out that it didn't work was in a way the beginning of what would later bloom to be a relationship they had now.

Chay's power didn't work on Kim and Chay thought that they both accepted that it didn't. Well, at least for Chay it was something that he had to accept. For Kim, it should have been something that he should be happy about. Chay had no power over him, at least not the kind of power Kim willingly wanted Chay to have over him. Why would Kim suddenly want to try it again? It wasn't as if it would now magically work. At least Chay didn't think it would.

But Kim's mind was unpredictable and it was Kim's mind that prevented Chay's mind to work in the first place after all. So maybe... now when things changed so much since they first met...

Chay must have been quiet for too long because Kim let out a high-pitch laugh, so clearly not his genuine reaction, and shook his head, "I'm just kidding, Sparky. It's nothing. Forget it."

"No. You are not kidding!" Chay said, his voice a little bit more strict-sounding than he had intended. He sighed, looking right into Kim's dark, wide-open eyes that were watching Chay's every move with the utmost dedication, "I'm just trying to understand why? Why would you want me to try again? Why would you want me to control you?"

"Because it's you," Kim said matter of factly as if it was a well know knowledge possessed by everyone in the world. "Chay, you are the only person in the world I truly trust. I trust you with my life. I— my power works on you and it's awful. It's not fair that yours doesn't work on me. It should! And I should know how it feels to have my freedom completely cut off. Not be able to do my of decisions and be at the mercy of someone else. You."

"Mercy?" Chay spat that word as poison and stood up from the sofa as if it was on fire, leaving Kim's arms shrouded in a sudden frightening cold. "Whatever suicidal tendencies you have, Kimhan... I'm not going to support them!"

Chay took a deep breath, leaned down, cupped Kim's cheeks and brought their foreheads together. He closed his eyes, hearing nothing but Kim's fast breathing, "baby, it doesn't matter if it's me or if it would be someone else in the world, letting others strip you of every bit of power you have over your own life, over your body, over your mind it's way to hell. It won't make you feel good. It will make you miserable." Chay opened his eyes, sliding one of his hands down alongside Kim's neck, his shoulder... he pressed his palm to his name engraved on Kim's chest and slowly, unsurely as if he didn't know if Kim wanted him there, Chay settled on Kim's lap.

"Now, I love you. There's nothing that makes more sense in my life than loving you does. But you took all I was, once from me. And I remember how it felt. And even now, when everything is so much different. When I trust you and love you more than I thought would ever be possible... even now... like this... I would never let you use your power on me again. That's one thing I would never let you do, Kim. I know I'm being hypocritical. I know that taking control from someone over their own life is what I do. That's my entire rogue hero existence, but this time I'm selfish. This time I'm saying that I don't care about others, but I do care about you. About us. And I'm not going to stay here and watch or worse... help you to do something so cruel to yourself."

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