Chapter 41. castle out of ashes

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— it's more than love... much more —

Chay had to take a deep breath and step away from Kinn

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Chay had to take a deep breath and step away from Kinn. He didn't want to deal with him yet. First, he had to see Porsche, and only then were the other things important.

Kim's hand was still curled into a fist as he watched Kinn catching back his balance and wiping off the blood from under his nose. "You had to fuck with us, right? You couldn't just let us be." Kim chuckled, "when did I ever—once—mess with your perfect relationship with Porsche? I barely even register that the two of you are a thing! But, no... of course, Mr. I Own It All Here had to go and try to fuck up everything good Chay and I have. You had to, didn't you?"

"I didn't fucking mean it, okay?!" Kinn snapped. But his anger left faster than it came—resignation was oozing from every part of his body; from the way he stood—slouched, his shoulders hanging low, and his head slightly ducked down... it was clear he knew how much he fucked up. Sighing, he said, "look, it wasn't my plan to erase your memories. And I don't know how the heck you got them back but I'm fucking glad you did. I wasn't thinking clearly when it happened. I wasn't myself back then—all I could think about was Porsche dying!"

Kim turned to Chay, a smug smirk adorning his lips, "see? I told you."

Chay couldn't even be irritated with Kim because he looked so proud of himself, so proud that he had read Kinn so well that Chay didn't want to burst his little bubble, but he also wasn't in the mood for jokes. With a clenched jaw, he looked at the number of floors they were passing by—it was almost time for the elevator to stop and him and Kim to get out. He looked back at Kinn, "you know—Kim told me that the reason why you did it was most likely because you weren't thinking clearly being too scared that hia might die, but that doesn't erase the fact that you did it. And now we are here and instead of saying that you are sorry, all you did is say all these excuses why you did it. Okay, yeah, I get it—you were worried for my hia. And believe me, I fully understand that. But," Chay shook his head, "I can't just forgive you and move on as if nothing happened. I already did that once, remember?" Back then, Chay had forgiven Kinn for things he had done to him intentionally, but this time, even if it was unintentional... Chay just couldn't—he couldn't just move on.

The door of the elevator opened, screaming at Chay to get out, giving him the chance to get to safety. He reached for Kim's hand and pulled him to his side, "I want to go."

Kim's face softened—he nodded and gave Chay a faint smile, "of course, Sparky. Come." They stepped out of the elevator where Chay could breathe better in the safety of Kim and away from Kinn's reach.

But something that could still reach them was Kinn's voice. Before the door of the elevator closed, Kinn asked, "what—what can I do to make it better? There has to be something."

"We'll find you," Kim replied, "till then you don't have to do anything."

Kinn let the elevator door close before they could catch his reaction, but it didn't matter—they would find him even if he tried to hide.

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