Chapter 15. bloody hands

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- hate and love...it's all the same -

Chay's crying was something Kim once found annoying

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Chay's crying was something Kim once found annoying. Now he found it excruciating. Every tear cut deeper. Every broken sob tore out another little piece from his heart.

He would give anything to not see Chay cry again. Was it his fault? Did he do something wrong again that hurt Chay? Was it the scar or the sepsis?

Kim gently put his hand on Chay's shoulder but took it right back when Chay twitched under his touch, and a quiet sob left his lips.

"I'm sorry," Kim whispered, "but you said that you are okay. Please, Sparky, just tell me what's wrong. Do you feel worse? Are the antibiotics not working? I can go to see Big again and-"

Chay shook his head, opened the door to his room, and pulled Kim inside.

"Chay-"

"It's not t-that I feel worse," Chay looked at Kim, "it's that I feel completely fine! I'm... I feel better than I felt before. I didn't feel so physically healthy for... I don't even know if I ever felt like this." Chay took a deep breath and started playing with the hem of his white t-shirt before quietly nodding to himself and taking it off. "It's this too."

Kim's eyes found his name immediately, but it looked different from when he saw it before. It was almost the same shade as Chay's skin. Still so vivid and present on Chay's chest, but so blended in as if it now truly belonged there. That couldn't happen so quickly unless...

Kim smiled, "Sparky, but that's okay. You are more than fine. You are okay. There's nothing wrong with you. Aren't you happy?"

Chay wrapped his arms around his naked torso, head ducked down. Kim could see his tears dripping down one by one. Once again, Chay looked so small and fragile in front of Kim. It was shredding Kim into pieces.

"I-I don't know what's wrong with me. This is not possible, or is it?" Chay's Bambi eyes glanced up at Kim as if Kim had answers to all the questions in the world. As if Kim could solve everything.

Kim subconsciously reached out to pat Chay's hair. A small smile lifted a corner of his lips when Chay didn't pull away. "Well, of course, it is, baby. Your mom had a healing power, didn't she? You just got it from her."

Chay started frantically shaking his head. His fingers were creating crescent moons in his arms as he was trying to squeeze himself away from the world. "That can't be. Two rogue heroes can't have the same power. We can't!"

"Maybe we can," Kim protested gently. "Maybe there just can't be two rogue heroes with the same power at the same time. Since your mom is dead..."

Chay kept shaking his head and mumbling under his breath "no no no" over and over again like a mantra, confusing Kim even more. Kim expected Chay would be happy to have power like this; something that wasn't hurting anyone, something from his mother.

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