Chapter 14. echo chamber

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— the echo of my thoughts is lying to me —

— the echo of my thoughts is lying to me —

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Yesterday, Kim made Chay laugh.

That sound, so pure it made Kim feel unworthy of being the one who caused it. How could someone so rotten be the catalyst of something so pure? But it happened, and Kim couldn't stop thinking about it since.

It wasn't as if he planned to do it. He didn't even think that his question was funny, but it seemed to be funny to Chay, and, honestly, that was all that mattered...

Chay had finished his noodle soup. Kim, still on the floor, was leaning a little bit closer, almost like a cat, nuzzling his head into Chay's hand. They didn't say much after Chay said he wasn't afraid to be alone with Kim. Chay didn't know what more to say at that moment, and his body felt tired. He wanted to sleep again.

Kim, on the other hand, had so much on his mind that he was afraid that whatever he would say would come out in the wrong way, pushing Chay away again. His senses were too preoccupied with Chay's fingers stroking his hair that...he wanted this moment to go on forever. Too afraid to speak. Too afraid Chay would stop.

And then Chay did stop.

And Kim's heart dropped. Did he do something wrong? Was Chay already tired of him? Did Chay think he made a mistake getting so close to Kim?

But then Chay lay down and threw the blanket over himself, covering almost his entire face, "I'm tired. See you tomorrow, okay? And eat something too."

Something similar to a smile appeared on Kim's face as he stood up from the hard floor; Chay wanted to see him tomorrow, he wanted Kim to eat, that meat that Kim didn't fuck up even more, right?

"Uhm... Sparky? I didn't mess things up even more, did I?"

The couple of seconds of silence that followed were probably the longest couple of seconds Kim had ever gone through, but then Chay replied with a simple "no," and Kim could breathe again.

And with the first breath he took, Kim asked the question, "So...can I bring the cat?"

The blanket moved first, exposing Chay's fluffy bed hair and blinding smile for Kim to see. The soft, airy laugh filled the room, rendering Kim speechless. Chay nodded, "of course, you can bring Moonshine; he is good for cuddles."

*****

Moonshine came into Kim's life like lightning on a bright day. Kim had never expected that. Or maybe what he didn't expect was his reaction upon seeing a tiny black kitten cold and drained in the rain, one of its paws bleeding as it tried to walk across a street, seeking shelter.

Kim tried to walk past the kitten. It was just another stray cat in the pool of millions of stray cats. Kim was a stray cat himself, and no one ever took care of him. But then the kitten was suddenly in his arms, and then it was on his sofa and then cuddling on his lap and then a month went by and the kitten had a name matching Kim's tattoo Sunshine on his neck, Moonshine in his arms.

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