In love with my bestfriend(s)

024

Tw drug use

*a week later*

The teams pov:

Everyone was sitting in the bullpen.
"Has anyone heard from y/n?" Emily asked.
Everybody shakes their head 'no'
"I called a few times but they don't answer" jj said to the team.

"Has strauss said anything to them?"
Derek asked. Strauss had ran an investigation, wanting to blame y/n for what happend. But the team got their back and y/n could keep their job.
"I don't think she got ahold of them either. I know how strauss usually is but blaming y/n?" Penelope said.
"I didn't see it coming either" Rossi said.

"I'll go check on them later" Spencer said to the team.
Everybody agreed.

Y/n's pov:

My body is wreck, I'm a wreck. Everything is broken. My phone had been going off but I cant answer them. They expect to hear y/n, I don't want to disappoint them. My dealer has been running out of crack, so I I've been doing regular cocaine aswell.

I just snorted a piece of the table when I heared a knock on the door.
"Y/n? It's Spencer"
Shit.

I clean up in a panic, but realise I can just pretend I'm not home.
So I sit in silence.
"Comon y/n. Let's just go to a meeting together. You don't have to say anything"
I don't want to go to a meeting, I can't tell him I relapsed.
"Y/n pls or I will kick down this door"
I stand up and lean against the door.
"I thought you said it was Spencer not morgan" my eyes are dry from all the crying. My voice breaks since I haven't used it.

"Can you pls open the door"
I was tempted to.
"I can't" I slide down to the floor.
"Why not?" He asks.
"I'm a wreck. And I'm not y/n anymore. I'm just a shell, broken and worn out" I let my head fall back.
I sniff and wipe my noise.
"Just leave me alone Spencer"
I say a bit more angry.

I hear him walking away and realise I'm all alone.
I don't feel like I can take any of this anymore. I need more drugs....

* another week passed*

I've been hidden away, getting high. But I've run out. And my dealer won't fix me up anymore.
My skin itches and I'm sweating. I'm already feeling withdrawl and I've been out of drug just for a couple of hours.

I want drugs, but I also want my old life back.

I get up and walk out of my apartment, trying to find another dealer. I fixed up some coke. I snort some and went home to drop off everything j just bought. Before driving to the bau.
And asking if I still have my job.

I walk in and everything is so bright.
I rib my eyes and see the team.
"Y/n?!!" I hear emily scream.

It's weird seeing them, it's like they are part of my previous life.
Emily rushed over to me and hugs me. It feels uncertain so I gently push away.
"Don't touch me, pls" I almost yelled.
She backs up. The whole team comes to say hi.
I felt so numb, and my brain was very weird from the drugs.
"Where htoch? I'm sorry, where is hotch" I stumbled over my words.
They pointed to his office.

I knock on the door. "Come in"
I open the door and hotch looks shocked at me.
"I, eem hi" I rubb my eyes and greet him.
"Y/n?" He asked. And pointed to me to sit down.

I sit down and scratch my legs. I felt the need for more drugs.
"I eem just wanted to check that I was not fired" I felt uncomfortable and moved around alot.
"I want to work again"
Hotch does his stare.
"Your going to need a pshyc evalv"
He said to me.
"What?! I'm fine! I just want my job back!" I stand up and scream at him.

Hotch looks at me shocked.
"Ow y/n. Are you high"
I pace around the room and scuff.
"Ofc I'm not"
"I can get you help"
"Omg I'm not fucking high!!" I slam both my hands on the table. The sound even scared myself.
"Y-"
"No fuck you! You know what?! I don't even want my job back! Just find a replacement bc I quit"
I storm out again just like last time.

I get In my car and went to buy more drugs. I smoke some up in an ally , before driving home.

I open my apartment door and see, Spencer and dave .
"What the hell are you 2 doing here" I close the door behind me.
"Y/n, we know your using" dave said to me.
I roll my eyes and jump on the couch.
"We found your drugs"
I look up a them in terror.
"Where did you put?!" I run across my apartment."nonono!!! I need that"
I open my cabinets and look at the placed they originally wore.
"What the hell did you with them!!"
I punch into daves chest before breaking and falling down.

"I need that!!" I break down in tears.
Spencer takes the rest out of my pockets.
"Give them back!!" I cry out.
I stand up angrily."give them now!!"

I walk up to spencer, it looks like I scared him.
"You need help y/n"
I fall down again.
"I can't do it anymore " I hide my face into the floor.
"I don't want to live like this. But I can't live at all without it"
I cry out.
"I really do need help" I look up pleading at Spencer.
"We can go to a meeting rn."

Rossi helps me up from the ground.
"I'm soo sorry " I cry In his arms.
"It's okay kid, you can stay at my place"

Spencer took my hand and dragged me to a meeting.
I say down and said nothing.
"Y/n do you want to speak"
I just shake my head no.
I can't do it.