In love with my bestfriend(s)

033

*next morning*

I was contemplating if I should stay home or go to work. And let's not forget about whether I should visit John.

"Morning" emily smiles next to me in bed.
"Doesn't feel like morning bc I didn't sleep" I move over to hug emily. I was so tired.
"Why don't you stay home then?" She looks at me.
"To do what? Try to sleep? That won't work. I see his ugly face even more than before now"  emily laughs at me.

"You can pick. Want coffee? Ow that won't work" Nope caffeine doesn't have any effect on me.
"It tastes good tho so, yes pls"

I get up to shower and think about whether I should go to work.

"Shit we're late" I hear emily.
I rush and call up derek to see if we have a case otherwise I'll stay home.

Derek: sorry y/n but were working om the letters from foyet.  We could really use your help
Y/n: no worries. I get it hotch needs us.

* everything happend with foyet, hailey died and that shit. I don't want to copy over that episode*
* intergation with strauss*

"What is this point of this" I tell her.
"Exuse me"
"What do you want? You want to blame someone? The only person to blame is the killer. I heard how you wanted to blame me for what happend. Now hotch?  I can't sit here and wait for you to twist my words, so you can fire him. He's been through enough! I had been through enough! All you can do is support. Show some humanity erin"
I was pissed, I was tired. I haven't slept since before we started to investigate this again.
"I'm taking a few days off"  and on that note I stormed out. I realise that I won't be able to sleep if I won't face John.

*1 day later*

I was packing up to go to the airport.
"Your not going without me" I hear a voice behind . I turn around and see emily.
"I can't sleep. I need to face him, I need to show him that he can't control me anymore"
Emily walks over to me and took my hand.
"I know, I don't understand it but I know. And I'll be with you" I look in tears at her and hold her tight. "Thank you."

We leave together to the airport.
Then we step onto a bus driving us to the prison.
I was tapping my leg, idk if I'm ready.
Emily moved her hand on my leg as I continued to tap it. "Your going to be okay"

I was nervous, I don't know how to handle this. The second I get of the bus I start to panic. I see the building the fences.
My heart races and my body is sweating  my breath is shallow.

"No no, its okay breath. Y/n look at ne" emily touched my face and held it in her hands.

I looked at her beautiful face, she held me and calmed me down. "Idk if I can do this"
I cried to her. "You don't have to" she said In her calm voice.  "I have to, I have to get over this and this is the only way"

"Let's just take a breath before we go in okay? I'll stay with you"
I dried my tears and took a breath.
We slowly walked in side.

"I'm here to see John ferno"
The officer lead me to a room.
I stood infront of the door.
"You can't come inside" I say to Emily.
I let go of her hand and walk inside.

John was chained to the table. His face was beaten up.
"Didn't expect to get a visitor and certainly not you"
I can't get myself to walk over and sit down.
"What do you want" he rolled his eyes.
"Why did you send the tape"
He sighed again.

"Thought it was a nice present. Now my turn, why are you here?"
"To show you your not incontrole anymore "
John laughed.
"Right bc your standing there completely In control"
I couldn't stay I ran out into Emily's arms.
"What am i doing?! I'm not in control ! He still has all the power over me "

I can't do it, I will be forever haunted.
"No you are in control, he can't hurt you anymore. You are out here, he's in there. Going to die."
I close my eyes and gather me strength. I thought of something. But I don't know if I could say it.

I walk back in.
"Not giving up. Your just in denial"
I take a breath and get myself to sit down infront of him.
"Mhh growed some balls in 5 minutes"
I lean forward to him.
"You know. I am in control. Bc I aborted your child." He sat silently.
Before standing in rage. I flinched but I slowly walk out. I'm in control.

Emily stands in shock outside the door. "I -I didn't know what els to say"
She just gave in and held me.
"I don't care how you did it, I just hope you can sleep now" I want to sleep too.

I got Starteld from the screaming and banging in the room behind me.
"Let's get a hotel to rest." Emily guided me outside.