Life As A Teasdale

Ch.174

Rufus was running around in the back lawn. I watched him while I sat in a chair with my legs up and the sun was out but it was a little cold. My parents left to New York for a business trip.

Stella said she might come by and bring dinner but that's a few hours away.

Rufus started barking and I turned around and saw Harry. My eyes widen and I stood to my feet.

"What are you doing here?"

"See how you are?"

"How did you get in here?"

"I still have a key"

I wanted to ask for it back but at the same time I wanted him to keep it.

"Oh, I thought you were at your mums?"

"I was but I came back and plan on leaving later"

"Oh" I nodded and he sat down next to me.

"How are you doing?"

"Fine, how are you"

"Good, I wanted to talk to you" He licked his lips.

"Then let's go inside" I stood up again.

We walked inside and Rufus stayed out there. For some reason we went to my room and he looked around.

"Don't rearrange your room"

"Why?"

"Because, I like it like this" He smiled and I nodded.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Last time we talked you seemed a little upset and also I just wanted to spend time with you" He grinned.

"Well I fell fine"

"I talked to Phoebe, she told me what happened before you left her house"

"What happened?" I really don't remember what happened. I was drunk but I was also mad at him but I couldn't remember.

"Well I guess you said that you hated me"

I chuckled and he did actually look hurt.

"Do you really think I mean that?"

"I don't really know Ellie?"

Nothing was said and I hated it. He wouldn't look away from me and that made me feel weird.

"You know how we always have those deep conversations?"

"Yes" He nodded and I bit my cheek.

"I don't like those because we end up yelling at each other and I hate that. I want you to just hold me and not be mad at me"

"I can do tha-"

"No, right now we are about to yell and we won't be able to stop"

"So what are you saying?"

"We go through these fazes and I'm tired of doing it"

"Ellie just tell me now, please"

"I do hate you sometimes but not for a long time. I end up hating myself for saying I do. It's just you get under my skin and you make me want you but I can't. I feel like you shouldn't do stuff because I'm here but you aren't mine. I don't own you. You do stuff that I hate but I can't make you change because you are you and I can't own people. Some days I just wish I never met you. I wish I never fell in love with you because you have made my life more complicated. I like it some days but there are times when I want to pull out my hair and lock everyone out" I breathed and he looked red in the eyes.