Life As A Teasdale

Ch.148

I'm leaving New York since I've been there since thanksgiving. Harry and I haven't been talking. I'm taking the break up pretty well and I think he is too. Of course I miss him and wish I was still with him but I know how these times go. I don't want us to be together but him be somewhere else. I hope he doesn't find another girl. I know that's selfish but I still really love him.

I arrived back in London and my mum picked me up. I opened the car door and sat down. I leaned over and hugged her for a few seconds.

"How have you been?" She smiled and I looked at my phone.

"Fine" I shrugged and she drove off.

"Was the flight good?"

"It was better then the other ones" I laughed and laid my head back.

"Have you talked to Harry yet?"

"No mum" I looked out the window.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to know"

"I know and if I did I don't want to go into details"

"I know I know"

"How have you and dad been?"

"We've been great. He's cooking dinner"

"What are we having?"

"Pasta"

"Yummy" I said and fell asleep before we made it back home.

When I got home I hugged my dad and we talked for a while and then ate. Tomorrow is Gemma's birthday and I'm going out with them and Lou. Clearly Harry is going to be there and that will be the first time we talk since LA. I don't know how the night will go but I know it will be fun.

___

I drove over to Lou's and knocked on the door. She opened up and hugged me.

"Hey" I pulled away and walked in.

"Haven't seen ya in a while how have you been?"

"I've been good what about yourself?"

"I've been good"

She finished getting ready and we headed out. I got in her car and she drove off. I'm scared to see Harry but I'm not going to have that ruin the night.

We walked in and she looked at me.

"Will this be your first time talking to Harry after LA?"

"Yeah" I nodded and she grabbed my arm.

"You'll be fine" I laughed and I saw Gemma.

I walked over and hugged her.

"Happy birthday" I smiled.

"Thank you how have you been?"

"I've been great what about you?"

"I've been perfect"

"That's nice to hear" I smiled and looked down the table.

I said hi to everyone I knew and my eyes made their way to Harry last. I've avoided eye contact with him when I first walked in. He is sitting right next to Gemma and I stopped smiling. I sat across from him and looked away.

He looked so good and it hurts to see him.

"How have you been?" Julian ask and Harry looked at me while I answered.

"I've been really good" I smiled and Harry looked away and I missed him so much.

After dinner we went to party and that's when Harry finally started to talk to me.

"You look really good tonight" He stood in front of me.

"You look really good tonight too" I smiled painfully and he opened his mouth to say something but didn't.

I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me back.

"I've missed you" He whispered and I squeezed harder.

"I've missed you too" I pulled away and enjoyed the night.

With everything Harry and I have gone through I think it's best for us taking a break. It kills me to not have him but k know it's for the best. We can still be friends and talk, just not a serious relationship.

I was about to leave because I was too drunk to stand. Lou was already out to the car waiting. I was saying goodbye to everyone.

"Hey" Harry whispered in my ear.

"You should come home with me tonight"

I looked at him and shook my head.

"I want to but I know it's a bad idea"

"Fuck" He groaned and I hugged him goodbye.

"I"ll see you soon" He leaned in for a kiss and I gave him my cheek.

I walked to the car and sat next to Lou. I closed my eyes and blocked out every sound.

I was dropped off at my house and I unlocked the door and went to my room. I opened my closet door and put my jacket and purse up. I saw a picture of Harry and I a few months ago sitting on a shelf in there. I picked it up and ran my finger over his face.

I'm not going to fall back into the pattern I always do. I placed it down and walked to my bed. I laid down and plugged my phone in.

I looked at the ceiling trying to fall asleep and not thinking of the man I'm madly in love with.

(Sorry I'm not updating a lot and I'm not making these long but in 2 weeks I'll be free for a month so I'll be updating a whole bunch and they will be longer I promise!)